I have an odd habit of pretending to do karate throughout my apartment. Even if I’m just walking 10 feet from my bedroom to the kitchen I’ll bust out my moves and knock out 15-20 ninjas.
Sometimes for a sugar fix I open a box of brownie mix, pour just a bit into a small bowl, mix with water, and eat that. I’ll do this through out the month and kill the box this way, never to actually bake any brownies.
I like to talk to myself. I hope my future SO doesn’t think I’m insane.
I fart. A lot. I’m a girl. Ever since I could speak I’ve been able to fart. Not just small, stink-less ones, but massive voluminous ones that almost physically push you out of a room, not that you’d object that considering the raw sewage smell. I have a handle on them public, no problem, but whenever I get home I fucking let those trouser coughs rip. My family has always found these to be really funny and treat it like an art form so now I’m so used to doing it all the time that I wonder what moving in with my current boyfriend (if that should happen) will be like. Either I’ll be the walking, talking equivalent of a wind turbine or I’ll explode from the pressure of containing these monsters.
I rarely sleep more than 4 or 5 hours a night. And if no guests are here, pants are unnecessary. My ex thought I was odd because I would walk in after work and I’d be dropping my pants as I crossed the threshold. I would think most men would like that in their woman. Not him. He also thought my sleep habits were abnormal and would make far too many negative comments about it. He didn’t last long…
I have to sleep with some sort of background noise or I just cannot fall asleep at all.
Blowdrying my vagina after a shower.
My redditing habit on my phone. I can be on reddit on my computer and STILL open reddit on my phone without realising. Also if someone even mentions something I saw recently on reddit I will try and find it instantly.
When I’m walking to the bathroom to take a shower I put my clean underwear on my head like a turban.
I like to eat in my bed while watching Netflix.
I often cook right after a shower, which leads to me cooking without a shirt on. Consequently I get burned by hot oil constantly and scream bloody murder. I take no action to correct this. I just keep getting burned and yelling.
Taking off my shirt before eating burritos.
Cocooning myself with the blanket in my sleep.
I tend to poop with the door open so my dog and cat can come hang out with me. They get lonely.
I still sleep with my blankie. My ex that lived with me in the past didn’t mind. He would actually help me look for it, fold it up for me. Whatever I needed.
Too bad he was a cheater, he was sweet sometimes. LOL
I absolutely need to control the wireless router. Try to make this a criteria when looking for a room. I also talk to myself using radio procedure. “Alpha six Charlie, be advised, sandwich is coming up, ETA four mikes. Copy that alpha six bravo; we’re waiting for it. Over.”
I have OCD. I molest light switches for whole minutes until I turn it off right. I turn doorknobs a number of times, with specific inhale and exhale patterns. I bite my toenails and fingernails. Patterned flooring must be walked upon certain ways. I jump when heavy doors swing close (fridges specifically). I go full blown fucking crazy on a daily basis, multiple times a day, knocking my fist furiously into my head a specific number of times to make bad thoughts go away. I talk to myself regularly, bizarre phrases (prayers to be repeated) and calling myself a nutcase mostly. Certain accidental actions must be repeated till right (like knocking something over). Locking my car or door can take a few minutes and is very annoying. Probably more.
All this shit annoys the living fuck out of me. I worry how a potential mate will react. Friends are cool as fuck about it. But they don’t live with me. My parents understood, but still broke down often and told me to just stop it.
I have a really hard time falling asleep without a show playing on my computer, preferably something like Journey To The Edge Of The Universe or one of the Stephen Hawking Into The Universe shows. Something really relaxing about it when the volume is turned completely off and the screen brightness is turned way down.
I have hundreds of old World War II movies that are always playing on the TV in the background or whenever I go to bed. It drove my last boyfriend nuts especially since I’m a girly girl so he never expected that of me. He hated it especially since id watch the same 3 or 4 movies over and over sometimes. Worried what my next so will think.
I sleep with my socks on no matter what. I don’t care if the Internet knows about it, who cares. But people in my life knowing about it? Something that shameful can ruin careers.
The first time I ever moved in with a boyfriend, I failed to realize how obnoxious I am in my sleep. I’ll have full-blown conversations with you, moan incredibly loudly while arching my back and ripping your sheets off the bed, or curl into a ball and shake uncontrollably as I whimper. Luckily, he proved to be a heavy sleeper.
No matter where I am (couch, bed, etc.) I can’t sleep comfortably unless I’m nude.
I sleep with my head underneath the covers like in a little cave. It helps make things completely dark and just feel warm and comfy. It makes me fear for the unavoidable Dutch ovens when I get into a LTR and he starts spending the night.
I love to play video games butt naked on my leather couch. She sits on it all the time and never knows, but I’m afraid it will mess up my KD if I play with pants on.
I whistle. Like, a lot. It has already ruined a few relationships I’ve had.
I dated a Russian and she was like, “Don’t fucking do that around my Mom…”
Apparently to Russian Orthodox people whistling has some weird meaning of blowing away your fortune. But I’ve been doing it for like 25 years. It’s like a tick at this point.
That I’m lazy and I don’t clean up after myself.
I masturbate far too much. It’s actually been a problem in previous relationships.
I pretend to be a TV show host when I cook.
I can only eat cereal out of a cup.
Not “I sometimes do.”
I ONLY do.
I like to stand on one foot in my bed with a sword in my hand. Can’t explain why…
I sometimes spend half the day talking to my neighbor’s dog in a basement that may not exist.
My paranoia. I can’t relax unless I know all the doors and windows are locked. I make sure my shotgun is loaded. I investigate weird noises: I’ll hear something, clear the house, and find a cat.
I had damn good reasons when I was younger, but it’s not something I can turn off.
My precious animes lol no girl will move into this shithole.
The side of my bed is my personal booger napkin.
I like to eat dry ramen noodles. It’s such a delicious crunch!
I have to wash my hands after eating food and before doing anything else. I can’t explain why I need to, it’s just this strange feeling that always makes me have to wash my hands. Especially before touching electronics [shudders]. The idea of greasy hands on my keyboard is the thing nightmares are made of.
I sit when I pee. I’m scared I’ll be less of a man if she finds out.
I don’t drink water from a cup; I just drink it out of my hand with the tap on.
I like to come home after a long day at work, take off my clothes, and eat an entire box of Kraft mac & cheese by myself in my underwear. I also like to take bubble baths in the dark.
Sometimes when I wake up and need to pee, but don’t want to walk downstairs and across the house, I’ll piss in an empty water bottle.
I like always have my hands down my boxers (I’m a guy). Its not like I’m wanking or anything it’s just comfy and warm!
Honestly? My severe anxiety and depression.
Been collecting my nail clippings since 2005. One day I’ll be famous.http://s276.photobucket.com/user/CH0DE/media-full//image-9.jpg.html In case you’re curious.
I make the same sounds as a baboon fervently masturbating on a plateau in Africa, with a slight breeze blowing, the vague smell of feces, and the sensation that you are being watched and judged, whenever I touch myself. If they do move in, they’re just going to have to get used it.
My eating disorder.
I really enjoy ripping up the popcorn bag and licking the butter off when the popcorn is all gone.
I need to bend completely over spread my butt cheeks as far open as I can and force every last bit of fart out of me with as much force as possible, every time I fart naked.
Walking around the house while I read. I’m always bumping into stuff and cussing, she’ll probably think I’m possessed or something.
I use body powder daily and it would be weird to have someone see me apply it…ok, it’s ass powder.
I constantly beat box to myself when I walk around and that can be very annoying to anyone. I also scratch my butt hole a lot. I wash my hands constantly so its not all bad. But no one wants to see the person they love digging in there asshole.
I’m worried my boyfriend will think I’m weird because I take such a long time in the bathroom when showering because I like to put the hot water on, get a nice steam going, and take a relaxing poo while reading a book on my phone. That’s easily half or more of the time I take when I’m “showering.”
Leaving my beard everywhere.
My monkey throws poop everywhere. At least, I’ll tell her it’s my monkey.
Eating powdered sugar. I love it and can eat a 5-pound bag in a couple days. This feels so unhealthy but tastes delicious. The first spoonful is weird but it gets really good after that. A fizzy drink goes great with it.
That I have a smoke when I’m cooling down after my run before I shower.
My habit of acting-out hypothetical scenes in my writing. It’s going to be trouble, I can already tell. I’d love to work it out so that she could join in, but that’d be such a long-shot.
I can forget to speak and go silent for a few hours, my roommate hates it because he thinks I don’t want to talk to him. Although, I’m just so used to spacing out in my own brain for some time.
Mayonnaise on toast. I just…crave it. Toast in general, really.
I talk with myself. Not to, With. Often there are arguments; I’m a stubborn Asshole sometimes.
I have sleeping paralysis. Although it’s really on/off, like every few months there will be a few nights where I get it loads. The only problem is that when I wake up from it I normally jolt out of it with a little gasp and I feel like this might be an issue.
Learned from my SO after we moved in together that I play with my balls a lot. Apparently it’s very noticeable to her and I just never thought about it. For awhile she thought that was my lazy way of trying to initiate sex. Nope, just feels good to roll the boys around a bit and get them some air.
I talk to myself, and to inanimate objects, and I give them orders. Like telling the dishwasher to remind me to do dishes later.
That I’m a twenty-year-old female who still needs to thumb-suck before going to sleep. Scratch that, I thumb-suck every time I’m bored.