You broke her heart. You completely shattered her heart, her strength, her trust, her mind and who she is as a whole. You broke her down when you decided it was best to go your separate way, without her.
That girl’s heart ached for you, it craved you and it missed you, even after you mistreated it. She wanted you but you moved on without even looking back. You left her to fend for herself so she did, you gave her no other choice.
She started learning to take care of herself, to pick up the broken pieces and stick them back together. She started becoming stronger because she had no other choice, she couldn’t keep crying over someone who was never going to come back to dry her tears. She started healing and moving on from you because you made it clear you didn’t want her to be in your life any longer. You ended it and she knew at some point she had to stop holding on. She knew she had to let go of the future you could have had together, so she did.
She let go and she started smiling, even when it hurt. She started laughing with friends without feeling like she was going to break down. She started going out and talking to other guys without feeling guilty. She even began to stop hoping she would just bump into you, to see how you’re doing and just hear your voice. She started waking up without a deep cloud of depression hanging over her head because you were no longer the first thought she had when she opened her eyes.
She finally started to get her life back together without you, and then you came back, just like clockwork.
You told her how badly you messed up, you told her you were sorry, that you should never have let her go. You told her you’d do anything to get her back because you can’t live one more day without her. You came out of nowhere and ruined all the progress she’s made without you.
She might not see it but I do. I see what you’re doing, how you’re coming back because you know you shouldn’t have let her go. I see that now that you left her because you thought you could find something better, someone better, but now you realized you already had the best. I see that you’re trying to make her feel guilty, you’re trying to say the words you know she’s been dying to hear.
And you screwed up all progress she’s made on her own.
I see it in her eyes, I hear it in her voice, it’s like the brokenness is back and she’s heartbroken all over again. She’s missing you all over again and it’s not fair to her. It’s not fair that you came back into her life because you thought it was okay to reach out because now you’re miserable, now you know what she’s been dealing with since you’ve been gone.
You broke that girls heart once before and now you’re putting her through it again. She knows you don’t deserve her but that doesn’t mean she’s totally stopped loving you. You’re tugging at her heart strings all over again and she’s trying to stop herself from breaking down and crying, she’s trying to stop herself from going back and giving in.
Because that girl you left – she doesn’t deserve someone who comes back, she deserves someone who never leaves.
You broke her heart once and she’s not letting you do it again. She’s lived without you, she found her strength and her dignity and she moved on. She’s done allowing you the power to break her heart again because she’s going to find someone who knows what they have when they have her, not after they’ve tested out other options first.
I’m sorry you’re miserable now without her, but you have to remember, you’re the one who ended it. You’re the one who let her go.