To be honest, I still occasionally struggle with this. I remember the first time I referred to my mother and stepdad as “my parents” it felt a little like I was cheating on my father’s memory. Was it okay? Was I allowed to have a place in my heart for another dad?
This anti-Black and anti-Indigenous system had the purpose of upholding white supremacy, and continues to do so today.
I know that my life revolves around me and the things I love, the things I want to do, and it all gets done in the way and at the time that I want it to. Throw a baby into the mix and the world falls off its axis and you have to realign it in an entirely new way.
Birthdays will never be the same. Christmas will always feel incomplete. There is a gap, a missing piece in every family picture, every Holiday card, every vacation and those are when it will hit you. It will hit on the death anniversaries, on her birthdays, on the empty closet, on the graduation and when it hits, it will hit hard.
The first assumption most people make when stating this is that I am unable to have children of my own or that such feat would prove difficult. As if adoption is only conceivable as a last resort situation; you adopt because you were given the shorter end of the stick and you’re making the best of it.
When the beer bottles take up more space on the desk than the keyboard and the mouse, it may be too late to write anything with a clear head.
“No one messes with my sister, but ME”. Pushy boys, and snobby girls, *SIGH, these were issues for the only child. Sisters stepped in and made sure that everyone knew if they messed with you, then they would have to mess with the entire clan.
Being a 20-something in this day and age is no easy task as you are now forced into adulthood by all means necessary. Not only are all of the “fun” birthdays over, but, as most people will remind you over and over again, it’s all downhill from here. T
You become too hard on yourself. While you accustomed yourself into doing things on your own, you also unconsciously made yourself believe that you only have yourself to depend on. You know you can fail others, but never yourself.
Thank you for giving me magic, letting me continue to believe in the Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy, after some jerk on the bus ruined Santa Clause.