Try to live your life with ONE HUNDO PERCENT honesty. When you do this, every experience just opens up to you.
You are feeling sad and fat and then someone hits on you and doesn’t make you feel so sad and fat anymore.
It’s hard for me to explain this to you in a way that will make one hundo percent sense, but I’ll try. Until recently, maybe in the last year or so, I didn’t understand that life could be good.
My last stop was Simon & Schuster. There, I met with a cute, charming gay guy and a warm, kind, straight man whose face was 70% beard and glasses. Together, we feasted on LOLs until we all ODed and had to go to Beth Israel from a LOL overdose. The next week, they offered me a book deal and I was ecstatic.
Things don’t have to be so fucking hard all the time.
See your parents through a very limited lens. Think that they are here to teach you, to answer the phone when you have a question about a suspicious mole on your neck or an ache in your belly.
Being gay means accepting that, one day, you could be left behind by the ones you love. Let me explain. When you’re in your twenties, your straight girlfriends are practically your other half.
This is the nature of being in your twenties. It’s nearly impossible to have all the boxes checked, unless you’re one of those RARE BREED OF TYPE-A PSYCHOS THAT DOES.
I text him the next morning, “Nice to meet you.” He writes back an emoji of a red balloon.
This is how I picture Lana: a cool, disaffected girl who would smoke cigarettes with you in the parking lot of your high school, a girl who was the first to lose her virginity in her group of friends, a girl who was never particularly ambitious but things just happened to her, things that everyone else wished for and worked so hard to get but couldn’t.