Thought Catalog

Don’t Wake Up Alone On A Saturday Morning

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Jesse Herzog 

Your life is changing in small, important ways every day. The structure is no longer holding, no longer able to stay glued together, so certain things are having to leave you when you’re asleep. They’re so quiet, so considerate when they abandon you, that I bet you don’t even notice.

They call this growing up, or something similar to it. You wake up on a Saturday morning and realize everything has become unrecognizable to you. The gauze has been lifted! When did this happen? Oh right, when you were sleeping. They came in at night and started to peel things away from you like an orange. They were careful not to cut the center, they were careful not to let any juice drip on the bedspread your mother bought for you. They wanted your life to look familiar to you, didn’t want to shock you completely, so they kept some things intact. Some things, not everything. Guess what’s gone? Wrong. Guess again.

You woke up on a Saturday and came to the sudden realization that you were all alone, that everything you had surrounded yourself with Monday through Friday, all the happy hours and all the business lunches and all those technological noises you drenched your earbuds in: it all added up to zero. You feel like a fool, don’t you? You played the game like everyone asked you to and still managed get to this place of complete and utter loneliness and alienation. Where did you go wrong? Do you need to send another text message to someone? Do you need to pay another credit card off or have another Great Night Out? What can you do to feel more connected to the things around you?

On Friday night, everyone was right next to you. There was Olivia and Taylor and Ethan and Josh and Michael and Sarah, and they were all here by your side laughing and drinking and taking pictures. No one left till the morning and you went to bed just as the sun was hitting your eyes. When you woke up, it was three p.m. and already dark out. You found out that, while you were sleeping, Josh married Olivia and they moved to the country somewhere. Sarah went to grad school and had a baby in New Hampshire. She’s gone. She wrote the last chapter of her book and she’ll never be relevant to you again. You wonder what happened to Michael. Well, let’s see. You loved Michael more than what was good for you and after sleeping with him for five years, it fell down like a game of cards. You don’t have the right to speak to him anymore. You lost it when you lost him. Say good-bye to that. Ethan is living in Portland and makes annoying Facebook updates about his life as a mountain climber and Taylor became a heroin addict. Just kidding! She writes books about organic farming.

How did this all happen when you were sleeping? How did you manage to sleep through all of these events? You were asleep and now you’re awake but it’s too late. Everyone else already went to bed and now you’re just alone and awake on a Saturday morning and that’s it. This is it. Never fall asleep again. TC mark

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    • http://www.facebook.com/lauramatsue Laura Matsue

      So good that it made me actually WANT to kill myself rather than just saying I did.

      • Tyrone

        nice knowin ya

    • http://twitter.com/yvonne1503 yvonne

      This is depressing, there has been too many Saturdays like these.

    • Sophia

      Ohhhhh I loved this. The first two paragraphs are absolutely golden.

    • Anonymous

      This is why I read TC. Really beautiful and really relevant. 

    • Mary

      I’m going to go ahead and guess that this is the type of thing you ACTUALLY write. And things like “faces people make in pictures” are just things you write when you have writers block.  Accurate?

    • Natalie

      I’ve been waking up alone on saturdays and this definitely hit home. 

    • Diana

      amazing. Absolutely amazing, Ryan you have such a talent and i love you.

    • Anonymous

      Oh, man. That second paragraph, just absolutely chilling. And it feels just like that, like something was taken away in your sleep.

    • Aj

      More stuff like this Ryan. This was wonderful and it felt like it was coming from a very personal raw place, which is what I appreciate out of the writers I like.

    • larry

      we all need dreamers

    • Fatima

      It’s kind of sad that I relate to this so much. 

    • Anonymous

      this is a good article but it doesnt tell me anything new from what i already know….waking up alone on sat!! what would be nicer is if the article said….heres how NOT to wake up alone!

      so all in all, it was just reading how i feel but doesnt do anything to change the situation.
       

      • Anonymous

        How about not reading anymore thought catalog articles? Reading them pretty much accentuates your self-obsession but obv since you don’t want to fall asleep to what’s happening around you…

    • Guest

      so is it Saturday morning or 3 PM?

    • http://twitter.com/weisjohn john weis

      blindsided.

    • http://twitter.com/AlkalineSuicide Alkaline Suicide

      Life is an unfortunate Saturday morning, it seems. 

    • Guest

       good grief…at least you’re not waking up in a stranger’s bed every saturday morning.

    • Joanna

      I liked this. It’s good when you write real.

    • http://twitter.com/vickstahs Vicky Nguyen

      Knocked the air right out of me. And I thought waking up on Sunday afternoon, knowing that you have to start the rest of the week again from scratch, was awful. Now you’ve got my worried about my Sat mornings.

    • Jo

      Thank you Ryan for this!

      I was having a conversation with my friend the other day, and I was rambling something related to this idea, but wasn’t quite able to articulate it. You managed to do it in a beautiful way!!

    • http://theromancek.com Romance

      intresting it is….

    • http://mostdiggity.wordpress.com mostdiggity

      There’s a song that goes something like this:” If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” Cross out that line but keep it tucked away… right underneath, “If you can’t be the one you love, recognize the glitch”. Do NOT ACCEPT the world in a vicarious way, own it, be it see it, do it. NO one but yourself can do it for you, but you must remember how beautiful and caring and loving YOU are. The rest will fall in place. And when it all goes tumbling down (like it once did for me), stand up, dust yourself off and smile. Happiness and contentedness are both inside you if you will only listen. I promise.

    • https://brenicojayblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/27/dont-wake-up-alone-on-a-saturday-morning/ Don’t Wake Up Alone On A Saturday Morning – Lifestyle Writing
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