The culture around animated GIFs (‘Graphics Interchange Format’, or briefly-animated images) is exploding. For whatever reason, human beings appear to enjoy watching a few frames of something or anything at all repeat endlessly, and this urge is simultaneously driving and being driven by popular image-sharing services like Tumblr to where it’s hardly avoidable, even if you’re not interested.
An ongoing project by Jonathan Harris and Sep Kamvar, We Feel Fine extracts sentences from blogs with the phrase, “I feel…” aggregates them in a colorful interface with the attempt to portray the nature of the world’s feelings in real time.
The song is essentially all about moving out of your parents house and going away to college. I mean, she talks about spreading your wings and taking a risk, which loosely translates to moving into a 5 x 5 dorm room with a stranger who deals Ecstasy. Right?
Is it problematic that I haven’t ever really done anything rebellious or teenager-ish? Is it going be like people say, where the kids who never did anything bad are the ones that go crazy and lose it in college? Shouldn’t I be working on my final English paper on Nabokov instead of writing this?
Buy most of your clothes in a payday-induced frenzy at Forever 21, the Divided section at H&M, or any discount fashion warehouse. These places are usually found along prominent boulevards in bad areas of your city, and are designated by names like “Fashion 4 U,” “Fashion 4 Less,” or “Ropa Para Toda La Familia.”
Can’t tell if XtendPlay – a company that sells ergonomic add-ons to console controllers who just so happened to plug their product in the above video – is trolling us bigtime here or if this is a real event that people enjoy because they enjoy being naked around other people while they all play video games.
Technology has really turned everyone into a giant flake. We can cancel plans by simply pressing a button on our phone that says “I don’t want to hang out with you.” But back in the day, you were expected to have a certain level of accountability. At least I think you were. I don’t really know because I wasn’t dating or even alive back then. But you know who was? My mommy! So I called her up to ask her a few questions about dating in the ’70s.
It started back in the early 2000s. It was a hot summer, I was done with school and my friend Andrew and I were incredibly bored. Around 10:00am, we were lying around on couches, watching television, thinking aloud as to what we would do for fun that day.
You need to stop saying things like ‘You cannot destroy me. Because I am an art piece’. That line lives next to ‘I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.’ and you don’t want to end up being Paula Abdul’s next door neighbor.
Fool yourself. A lot. Pretend that his neglect is a side effect of a busy career. Be consoled by his sudden bursts of affection, which you tell yourself just might be the first glimmerings of love. When he compliments you, believe it. Hoard the sweet words like gold dust.
He was born somewhere in Michigan. He has a mom. He was raised in a middle-upper class milieu and attended a private high school. This was somewhat distressing for Chris because he wanted desperately to be “hard,” but you can’t be hard playing basketball in economically-depressed Detroit if you attend a private school.
She was not much older than me, the both us still relatively new to London and just as broke as each other. Initially we laughed about how little we had in common, she liked drum and bass, and I liked the Spice Girls. She liked going to dubstep nights, and I preferred dressing like a girl and dancing on tables.
Photographer Jon Gustafsson, who famously covered last year’s Eyjafjallajokull eruption – which stymied a good portion of Western European air traffic for days – recently recorded this amazing video of Iceland’s latest erupting pit of lava, Grímsvötn. Aside from the usual snark, I have no words. Video inside.
Toronto couple Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are raising their latest child, Storm, to be gender free. That is – they just aren’t telling anyone (family, neighbors, friends) what’s between Storm’s little legs.
Hot Docs is the young stud of Toronto film events. Just eighteen years old, it’s already the biggest documentary film festival in North America. I had a press pass and spent ten days watching movies about Mexican drug-war killings and the healing power of dolphins amidst rapt audiences who really hated it when you came in late or wrestled with the packaging on your granola bar. Here is some of what I saw.
I don’t watch television all that much, but every so often I’ll sit down and commit to “vegging out.” And when that happens, I find myself consistently overwhelmed and disappointed – as our options have grown, the value to be derived from watching cable television has withered into nonexistence. Cable television has destroyed the sitcom.
Your daily looks are the following: I’m Writing My Suicide Note In Boca, Where Downtown Meets Midtown Meltdown, I’m Going Out With Paul The Banker Tonight And I’m Going To Let Him Put It Anywhere, Cocktails With My Gurls, Audrey Hepburn CLASSIC CHIC, Why Won’t He Call Me Back?, This Is Me Being Serious Right Now, Edgy, More Edgy, Just A Little Bit of Edgy.
Like a dictatorial state, the goal here is basically to censor any expression of less-than-ideal emotions such that it appears, from the outside, as if your partner simply isn’t allowed to voice attitudes that convey the relationship is anything other than ideal.
Like it or not, the end of the world narrative has crept into our culture, bled out from Christianity into all kinds of secular progressive causes. The vision of a global warming apocalypse stands out as a prime example. There is now scientific consensus that global warming is occurring, and that it is being influenced by people in a predictable fashion.
With anorexia, you’re terrified of being caught. You work hard so no one notices, but they probably do. My friends did. One has brought it up, but we didn’t use the word “Anorexia,” because only crazy people are “Anorexic,” right?
I’m writing to you from a computer in the lobby of the Ace Hotel, Palm Springs. To my knowledge I am the only person who has used it. Why would you be at a computer when you could be at a pool? A week ago, I’d have had an answer for this, but now I do not.
You can relate to your friends who have been in relationships. There’s no longer this awkward divide between you two. You get it! All those times they bitched to you about a poorly worded text message makes sense! You’re sorry to ever have thought they were just being a crazy bitch!
Watching the video of the confused man, one almost expects him to get attacked by the group of people around him at one point, but instead he just gets laughed at, and I think this is very sad. If anyone should be prosecuted, it’s Harold Camping, who thought this whole mess up, and who was nowhere to be found on the day the world was supposed to end.
Attractive people on subways are like pee puddles: Obscenely ubiquitous to the point where you’ll only notice them after a quick whiff that makes you wonder 1) is that really what it was and 2) did you step in it.
So, what about writing ourselves? Every day, our thoughts, words and actions conspire to create the way that others perceive us and influence the ways in which they understand us. We create “texts” through which we ask others to interpret us, and we hope that we do it well. We’ve all been misunderstood, and often can’t quite grasp why.
My point is this: Power, as Foucault says, comes from everywhere. It is not something that exists out there, that comes from the top, that is enforced by police (although it’s that, too.) Power is what makes you move, physically and emotionally.
An erotic one-act pantomime play from which carnal knowledge is got, with digressive phallic metaphor and symbolic patricide.
Unlike some people, I don’t have the pleasure of sleeping in until 8:30am and getting into work at 10:00am. Oddly enough, where I work is less than a 10-minute walk from where my apartment is, so you would think I would sleep in until the last possible minute, right? Not so fast. What you have to realize is that as we creep into summer, the sun starts rising earlier and earlier as the days drag on.
I, for one, am kind of pissed the world didn’t end. Not because I’m suicidal or actually want everyone I know to die but because it would finally get everyone to shut up about their Doomsday scenarios.
This is a message to that loose cannon and any other loose cannon out there: Don’t let your interior be as ugly and pointless as your exterior and for your information, Molly McAleer has never needed anyone but Molly McAleer.
Filled with muscular douchebags, old men with ponytails, large dudes wearing hockey jerseys, 45-year-old women with massive, unnatural-looking breast implants, single moms with faces obscured by a layer cake of make-up and way too much bad lipstick, ditzy white-girl cheeleaders turned vacuous suburbanite idiots, porn is produced by a class of people that, well, not too many of us choose to be around.
The coach held up a certificate: “And Mike is ‘Best Goalie’. Come on down, Mike.” So this put me in kind of an awkward situation. My teammates immediately looked to me for the sure to be hilarious reaction shot to being publicly called out as an inferior human being in front of the whole team and everyone’s parents. The only question now was: what would my award be?
Know your fashion. Do not sequester yourself to only the major fashion houses. You’re not a housewife – you’re on the streets and you should know who’s coming, who’s doing a collabo and who’s going. If you’re a girl, Isabel Marant is your leader and if you’re a guy, try wearing Celine as a public statement on gender, image and consumerism.
Everything your other applicants lack, I have, and everything your other applicants have—well, I have that, too. You see, I graduated with a B.A. in English and a minor in creative writing from the top public university in the nation.
Having never been one to fantasize about princess-dom, Cinderella being my least favorite of the fairy tales, and not currently in possession of a boyfriend, much less a fiancé, you can see where my sudden preoccupation with invitations and veils (or lack thereof) and engagement rings might raise some red flags.
If I were forced to claim allegiance to one kingdom, I would be wearing the Family Crest of Eternal Silence across my chest. When I am mad at someone, I say nothing because I know if I start to speak, all that will come out is the wrathful hissing of my inner pit viper that threatens to poison everything with hateful, vituperous words.
Those blessed with foresight and an healthy amount of paranoia have been awaiting the Rapture for years, and have prepared by accepting Jesus into their hearts. Jesus will reward this dedication by granting 200 million or so people some complimentary mineral water and a cushy spot in Heaven, while the rest of the 6.7 billion Jews and sodomites get left behind on Earth.
Look around campus and realize the breadth of notable alumnus: a slew of former U.S. Presidents, ambassadors, authors, artists, and CEOs. Jump at the thought that some of said luminaries may have lived in your room, down the hall, or sat in your chair in your classroom.
Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally awesome are movies with cheesy-ass special effects, sensational plots and an extreme disregard for reality. Terrible movies are terrible, but they’re also awesome.
Maybe you’ve heard, Saturday is doomsday. Family Radio founder Harold Camping says so, though his Judgment Day math has been wrong in the past. Regardless, Family Radio’s publicist Tom Evans is working the angle hard, hoping for the worst. To mock such a terrible prediction, however, feels a bit like tempting fate. What if Camping and his sandwich-board believers have insider knowledge on Armageddon?
Dating a Crazy Person provides all kind of benefits. They’re very eager to please in the bedroom. Mostly, they’re skinny and smart in an unhinged way. (I’m not bragging. I’m only book-smart.) They’ll make you feel like God.
Your fat Kindergarten teacher had sex. She did, I swear! Maybe she even had lots of sex. She had two children so that’s a guaranteed two times someone had sex with her. Here she is teaching you how to read and then there she is getting naked with some dude.
4. Getting booted from the Internet and having to start a download from scratch 5. Searching for my name, “Stephanie,” and downloading every search result (they were all pretty bad; save for “Hey Stephanie!” by Gob and “Stephanie Says” by Velvet Underground) 6. Downloading corrupted files that were half song and half screeching, scrambled white noise
Early yesterday morning, 21-year-old Brittanie Wagner struck her father with her vehicle, who was walking along the side of the road. Driving without glasses, Wagner initially assumed that she had struck an “an animal or a garbage can,” according to The Smoking Gun. Only when police pulled her over soon after did she realize the victim was her father.
It’s interesting to think about why we were so willing destroy our bodies at seventeen. Being a teenager was all about “Yes. Give me that! Why not? I might projectile vomit? Cool! I haven’t done that since I was five!” Being in your twenties, however is all about being neurotic. “Gee, I don’t know. Maybe. I have a gluten allergy so I can’t drink that beer.”
Bring in the potential mate/interested party. The background isn’t important, but make sure it pairs well with our main ingredient. Use lean meat, aged, but not moldy. Strong enough to be a main dish, but here, works well as a pairing. Once upon a time this was important to really pin down and get it perfect, but as time has gone on and this recipe has had time to mature, there is more liberty here than ever before.
I was a history major in college. Mostly, this was because my high school history teachers were smart, Marxist revisionists so we read insane books. (It turned out I was actually interested in interpretation, not history, but it took me a few years to figure that out.) I entered college with all these AP credits in history so, well, I continued with it as a major.
The days of simply slapping a “sincerely” and a flowery signature at the end have gone the way of the handwritten letters. Nowadays, there’s pressure to squeeze every ounce of digital face time into making yourself into an unbeatable kick-ass person. The way you end an email is the last impression you give to somebody, whether it be a future employer or your roommate.
1. Her father called her Kiki. Can you actually imagine anything more condescending than that nickname? Especially when you’re still drinking your first cup of coffee and he mocks your bagels.
The second sex is no longer a mystery or an only object of desire but a real person, someone worth getting to know and spending time with, and if that friendship develops at the necessary pace of affection, someone you can fall in love with. Being able to befriend girls also increases your likelihood of hitting it off with that girl’s girlfriends, something of truly inestimable importance.