Search Results

7. Befriend the kid in the slayer shirt who sits at the back of your english class.

Your reason to live should be very much like your reason to listen to music. Once you learn to appreciate all the elements of music you appreciate it more than you ever thought possible. Same goes for life, when you stop overlooking the smaller elements and really tune in to what it has to offer: nature, human connections, animals, love, passion, etc. you appreciate it more than you ever thought possible.

“Breaking up with that awesome girl in college because I wasn’t ready to settle down. Been trying to find a girl that awesome ever since (or remotely close).”

if unhappy is your default setting, other people can’t afford to be around you.

My favorite teacher ever—English, freshman year of high school—walked up to my desk, picked up my white-out, took a super deep sniff, shuddered, said “that’s the stuff,” and walked away.

In Pirates of the Caribbean, we see the story of a daring search for booty, and if that description is also fitting of your sex life, well it most definitely belongs under the genre of adventure.

Our company had a little person working in the head office.
She got fired because she hid inside a paper recycle bin and scared some employees.

12. You don’t really express your feelings all that well. You expect people to know and understand how you feel already, and this has been a problem in at least one of your most significant relationships.

Woody Allen is his own Bartlett’s, except with a whole lot more material about getting off.

If you’re a “Mean Girls” fan, celebrate “Mean Girls Day” with this list of other movies you’ll adore.

Let the greatness of the Space Jam soundtrack live on in your a.m. regiment, taking the wheel of your weak, exhausted body.