4 Things That You Will Learn After Your First Major Break-Up
Inevitable growing pains.
Inevitable growing pains.
What’s that you feel? Are those real tears running down your cheek? They immediately harden to ice in the bitter New York winter. You decide to leave them there.
Now before you go thinking that I’m some horribly calculating automaton, first stop and think about how beneficial this kind of universal self-centeredness is.
She asks you questions and you let her linger on the edge of your lips, waiting to catch the answer that will fall out. She calls, and you let it ring, watching it across your table as it buzz, buzz, buzzes.
It wasn’t always like this; the fights, the misunderstandings, and the petty arguments stemming from absolutely nowhere. You know, we used to be… the ideal couple.
Their experience is something that we’ve all come in contact with at some point, and it’s that magical, universal resonance that really makes this timeless. Dazed and Confused captures an essence.
I learned that it’s always startling if any stranger tries to talk to you in a bank, but exceedingly more startling if they whisper “nice ass…” It’s like, do you want my number? My pin? Because it’s unclear.
1. Making eye contact while on the toilet, or with someone who’s on the toilet Someone I know, let’s call him my “uncle,” once scored a hot date, and took her to the Red Lobster.
The key to cracking this guy’s code is to pull Inception on him–in the sense that you need to convince him that it’s actually you who is making the first move.
Things don’t close. You are never wanting for a place to give your inebriated or starving self food at 5am.
Pictures/cameras. I just captured this ONE moment in time that I can now look at for the rest of my life.
The deep, forgiving cushion of your favorite armchair as you sink in to change the world via the Macbook warming your lap. The inviting “like” button on status updates from area non-profits.
You are probably the most put-together adult I’ve ever met. Can I meet you? I want to be as put together as you are. Please?