There are few things worse than realizing, the second it’s too late to go back and change, that your outfit looks like something your grandmother would have dressed you in as a child, shortly after her cataract surgery.
Sometimes, when in situations like these, you find yourself in a conversation where the rules are that you have to keep making up these clever little witticisms to stay in the conversation. It is like a verbal game of ping pong.
Here, in no particular order, the wordsmiths and their craft that should probably not get their rapper license renewed this year.
bahahah: You’re a male programmer with a pony tail who’s generally seen as weird/ creepy/ nerdy by your IRL peers and as either a “guru” or a tyrannical dick by your fellow elitist programmers in IRC. You may also employ “mwhahahah.”
What do I need to do tomorrow? I know I have to fill out my W9, and go fax some stuff. I should probably do some laundry too. I don’t have any clean clothes and its embarrassing. Oh wait, am I still making out with someone?
The last time I saw it was at a midnight showing at IFC Center. I was going on a date with someone I didn’t really know and we both decided to get super high beforehand. Big mistake.
Texting me after 10 on a weeknight is a lost cause dude. I’m watching episodes of Seinfeld on my couch, in my sweatpants, eating pizza. I turned off Social Me like an hour ago, and once I turn it off for the night, it doesn’t come back on until tomorrow, midday at the earliest.
Your Disney film of choice says more than just what VHS was worn to tatters from merciless overuse when you were eight; it says which 1 hour and 30 minutes contained your tiny little dreams. So put on your Tinkerbell costume (you know you still have it), get out your stuffed Boo doll, and settle in for a little trip down One Day My Prince Will Come Lane.