Thought Catalog

The 10 Worst Rap Lyrics Of All Time

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I’m a big fan of hip hop. (But really, what middle-class, sheltered, suburban white kid isn’t?) It’s an amazing, incredibly versatile genre. To briefly give myself some cred (lol), some of my favorite artists include Atmosphere, Brother Ali, and Murs. Now that you all know I’m extremely cultured and have incredibly good taste when it comes to rap, I feel I speak with some authority on the lyrics that have most spectacularly missed the mark in terms of rhyme scheme, content, and general literacy. Here, in no particular order, the wordsmiths and their craft that should probably not get their rapper license renewed this year.

1. Young Dro, “Shoulder Lean”

My girl got a girlfriend, Chevy blue like whirlwind
N*gga it’s a drought on that boy, so I got that girl in
Pearl Bent’, cockin’ hammer, Arm & Hammer propaganda
B*tches think I’m pimpin’ and leanin’ in salamander sandal

It must be said, first of all, that whoever managed to decipher and fully write out the lyrics to this song should clearly be in the running for the next Nobel Prize in literature. I officially nominate “Shoulder Lean” for the most unintelligible rap song I’ve ever heard. “Cockin’ hammer, Arm & Hammer propaganda”? Apparently that is some reference to baking soda used to make crack cocaine, but it could not be more out of place in an otherwise completely unrelated passage. The second line in its entirety makes absolutely zero sense, along with the assertion that his Chevy is “whirlwind blue.” I like to think of Dro, and his completely absurd lyrics, as Dadaist, making fun of my fruitless attempts to translate these words. Maybe his next album will just be entirely cat noises. Also, I google image’d “salamander sandals” and got nothing but the most unfortunate Birkenstock-light mom shoes I’ve ever seen. Good one, Dro.

2. Gudda Gudda (with Young Money), “Bedrock”

I like the way you walkin’ if you walkin’ my way
I’m that red bull, now let’s fly away
Let’s buy a place with all kinds of space
I’ll let you be the judge and I’m the case
I’m Gudda Gudda, I put her under
I see me with her, no Stevie Wonder
She don’t even wonder, cause she know she bad
And I got her, n*gga. Grocery bags

Apparently the hallowed Young Money tradition of saying a sentence and then saying a word at the end of it that typifies or explains the previous sentence — Nicki Minaj being the most frequent offender, of course — has finally reached it’s low point with “I got her, n*igga. Grocery bags.” Not only does this make absolutely no sense in any context, it’s just so incredibly lazy. The way he delivers this verse just sounds like he’s waiting in line at the post office. It makes me almost sad, in a way. Poor Gudda.

3. Yung Berg (with Ray J), “Sexy Can I”

I don’t care who’s ya boy hittin, or who Ray’s melon
When I give it to her, I know that she ain’t tellin’
See I’m a go get and she a go get
You already know she…

Despite being the one and only semi-popular song from ultimate hipster Ray J (slaying Kim Kardashian before it was cool), it’s really Yung Berg here who shines. Clearly no one ever confused the man for Mozart, but could these lyrics be more lackluster? “I’m a go get, she a go get.” Why? Why? Also, can someone cooler please explain to me what Ray’s melon means? Google remains inconclusive.

4. Lil Mama, “Lip Gloss”

MAC, L’Oreal, yep, ’cause I’m worth it
Love the way I puts it on so perfect
Wipe the corners of my mouth so I work it
When I walk down the hallway, they can’t say nothin’

I can’t decide which is worse about this, the fact that she references wiping the film that forms at the corner of her lips so she looks sexy, or the fact that “they can’t say nothin'” rhymes with absolutely nothing in this song. Speaking of all of this, what happened to Lil Mama? Does anyone know? Do we no longer speak her name in public?

5. Soulja Boy (with Arab), “Yahhh”

(Hey, SoulJa Boy, can I get your autograph?) Yahhh, trick, Yahhh!
(Yo, Arab, I really like you, man) Yahhh, trick, Yahhh!
(Are there any 30 boyz that…) Yah, Yah, trick, yah yahhh!
(Yeah, I was wonderin, can I be on your next…) yahhh, yahhh, trick!

Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face, ho
Get out my face (Yahhh!)

Soulja Boy is a multi-millionaire.

6. Lil’ Wyte, “My Smoking Song”

I never frown as long as that Mary Jane is all up in my system
Too bad you miss them 
What
Them six blunt that we turned to victims
Its on again

I think we can safely say that Lil’ Wyte is the absolute embodiment of every white guy who wore JNCO jeans, loved ICP, and drank Hennessy in high school. He is that guy, times a million, rapping about how much weed he likes to smoke. “I never frown as long as that Mary Jane is all up in my system,” is a strange, almost endearing combination of what a 12-year-old would say about weed and the rhythm of a broken carburetor. One can only imagine the level of white boi teenager that must crank this song to the highest possible volume in his Honda Civic with bullet-hole stickers and subs he bought on Craigslist. One can only imagine.

7. Nicki Minaj, “Stupid Hoe”

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (x3)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
(stupid, stupid)

Sometimes I get into really serious, intense conversations with friends of mine who try to present the argument that Nicki Minaj is not only a good rapper, she has also taken the mini-genre that Lil’ Kim started and improved it — made it even more addictive and interesting. I listen to them, and then I think of this song, and I just get really, really sad. The fact that people could even say Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Kim in the same sentence is ridiculous, to be frank. And it’s funny, you don’t think a word as loaded as “hoe” could be heard to the point of completely losing all meaning, but I’d say that’s been accomplished here. Hats off, I suppose. 

8. Aaron Carter, “Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)”

The door bell rings cuz the party’s here
I’m crankin up the stereo like it’s New Year
Walkin’ ’round the house like who’s Da Man
(Can’t nobody do it like Aaron can)

I’ll be honest, I just wanted to include this so we could be reminded, if only for a moment, that Aaron Carter existed. He existed, and we loved him. Oh, god, did we ever love him. We wanted him to walk around our house like “Who’s Da Man?” We wanted him and his shiny silver puff pants to dance for our entertainment. Also, I truly appreciate that he says “Oh, dag! I’m in trouble!” as though “damn” was too offensive, but “dang” still appealed to the wrong crowd, so they had to take it down one more notch on the Disney-approved scale of expletives. Oh, Aaron.

9. Gucci Mane, “Lemonade”

Lemonade diamond bracelet, put it in ur face (BURR)
Lemonhead diamond earrings I wore yesterday (BURR)
Im pimpin where im winnin, thats just how I’m chillin
Im smokin grits and sellin chickens, corvette painted lemons

This song is so unfair, in that it blatantly uses the little kids singing the chorus/rap combination that just melts my steely little heart, yet is such a terrible song. I mean, I’ll be honest, I listen to it every now and again, but I always feel like I need a shower afterward. Gucci is just such a bad rapper in every song, it almost hurts to listen to him. You can feel your brain cells actively turning off and refusing to be party to this kind of dumbing down. Burr! Anyway, “Im pimpin where im winnin, thats just how I’m chillin.” Who actually writes these and thinks, “Not only do they make sense as lyrics, they’re also the kind of witty social commentary that will skyrocket me to ice cream facial tattoo levels of success!”? Gucci, I guess. I would also like to know how one smokes grits or sells chickens, if possible.

10. Waka Flocka Flame (with Wale and Roscoe), “No Hands”

Well I’m tryna to hit the hotel with two girls that’s wide awake
Take this d*ck and swallow bay mascato got her freaky
Hey you got me in a trance, you take of yo pants
You pop on a handstand you got me sweating please pass me a fan DAMN!

It really pains me to add this song to the list, as it features certified nice guy and DC representative Wale whom I love and am convinced knows me personally because I have seen him twice at bars in the District and even once said hello (Y U NO ANSWER MY LOVETWEETS, WALE?!). Anyway, even he is kind of lackluster in this song, if that’s any indication of how bad the whole thing is. It’s Waka, however, who takes the cake in the horrendous lyric department. He requires his female prospects to be conscious, which is undeniably a good thing, but it doesn’t seem like he has much good in store for her — she can expect to take off her pants and do a handstand for his entertainment, which seems just about the least fun thing you can do with a partner in a hotel room. But I don’t know, maybe I’m picky.

Yeah, I’m probably just picky. TC mark

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More From Thought Catalog

  • ________

    “the hallowed Young Money tradition of saying a sentence and then saying a word at the end of it that typifies or explains the previous sentence” That’s call hashtag rap.(She don’t even wonder, cause she know she bad
    And I got her, n*gga- #grocerybags)

    • Dickcheese Mcgee

      Yea he was totally taking about groceries. How did I miss it?

    • http://www.facebook.com/sarah.n.knutson Sarah N. Knutson

       I was always under the impression that the lyric ended with ‘bagged,’ not ‘bags,’ which made sense lyrically because he ‘bagged her like groceries.’ Though in theory, it’d still work as ‘bags’ because the association can still be made.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503195132 Hana Graham

    I think my favorite offense is still “I’m a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed” from the very rich Lil Wayne. 

  • dylan d

    I’m very sad Will Smith is no where on this list… at one point in gettin jiggy with it he says “you gotta prada bag with a lotta stuff in it”

  • Max

    “I would also like to know how one smokes grits”

    Put grits in a smoker. Duh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ciara-Garner/100000581140018 Ciara Garner

    That was incredible. Everything I wanted to say, better. 

  • Bridget

    I was seriously hoping Nicki Minaj’s dope lines in Drake’s “Up All Night” would be featured in this. Then I discovered that there are actually worse things than, ”
    I look like ho, I look like yes and you like no.”

  • Scruffz

    There are way worse lyrics than these. Did you start listening to rap 5 years ago?

  • Bnthomas45

    you area  stupid hater 

    • Bridget

      I kind of love this comment because it’s so sad. 

  • melbell23

    “Stupid Hoe”…can’t stand that song

  • ade

    Dear TC editors: please stay away from any pieces about hip hop if they require a disclaimer about how white the author is and how good their taste “actually is”*. As a big fan of TC and a very, very serious hip hop fan i cringe every time the two meet.  It smacks of ignorance.

    *it’s usually not. 

    –Your resident comment section hip hop snob

    • Anonymous

      BRO I BET UR SO FUN AT DINNER PARTIES

      • ade

        GIRL I THINK YOU’RE A GREAT WRITER I’VE READ MOST OF YOUR WORK AND I’D LOVE TO HAVE DINNER, THX

        just dont insult my favorite kind of music while we’re at it or ill probs get mad.  for the record, gucci “bad rapper on every song” mane is almost universally adored by the most respected rap critics writing today, for reasons you would understand if you’da done ya homework.  

  • DM

    I’d be interested in reading your take on 10 best rap lyrics of all time! 

    • Sablesma

      Please no.

  • Chirpy192

    Chelsea this was hilarious! Seriously I almost died at the Soulja Boy part. And thank you for saying that about Nicki, esp after the Grammys – ahhh

  • http://twitter.com/galette_rois Julian Galette

    I still play Aaron’s Party at parties.

  • http://twitter.com/diss1 tom dissonance

    dear god

  • Kelseyxiv

    Yeah Nicki Minaj  doesn’t even come close to Lil’ Kim. I can’t even believe how dumb her rhymes are sometimes:

     “Move back bugs
     matter fact you know the queen could use a back rub

    If you could turn back time, Cher

    You used the be here but now you gone Nair”

    … wut.

  • Jordan

    “Grocerybags” is in reference to “bagging a bitch” AKA pulling a woman. “Smoking grits” means smoking cigarettes.

    CHELSEA, I like your writing, but your ignorance on the topic at hand is astounding. Stick to what you know. This discredits you.

  • http://twitter.com/Incilin Insanul Ahmed

    I thought I could never hate a Thought Catalog post….and then this happened. A small piece of me just died. I’ll be okay but…ugh.

  • Juanita Martinez

    Ha! I loved this <3

  • Acewonders

    A suburban white woman stating she’s a hip-hop fan and has great taste in hip-hop. I’m pretty sure there is an oxymoron somewhere in there. No offense, as diverse as hip-hop’s fan base has gotten in the past few decades, I’m pretty sure a lot of elements of the hip-hop culture are still targeted to the culture and experiences of the “underprivileged black male”, and I would assume that these elements would be be foreign to the “”suburban white girl” demographic.

     I’ve noticed that the music that a lot of black hip-hop fans love (Future, French Montana, even Rick Ross/Waka) doesn’t resonate as much with the “suburban internet hip-hop fans” ie. (Atmosphere fans lmao)

    • Acewonders

      Also you put Young Dro as number one on this list. Unforgivable offense.

  • gUEST

    haiku #2

    I wrote you a song
    but I don’t know how to sing,
    so I ate the song instead.

  • Acewonders

    You also butchered the lyrics in a couple of these songs, so I assume you never actually listened to the songs and a lot of the lines you think don’t make sense, don’t make sense to you, but they make sense to a lot of other people.

  • Hash

    This is such a garbage article. Just because u don’t understand the references being made doesn’t mean the lyrics are bad, it just means you don’t kno the subject matter.(despite having “such good taste in rap”) also I find it odd the top ten worst rap lyrics have all occurred in the past 6 or 7 yrs. You missed so many terrible lines by Wayne, which leads me to believe you’re a mainstream Wayne fan like the rest of the sheep. I mean he fuckin confuses Tom petty and skip petty. Last thing, nicki Minaj has no business in here as no one except maybe her considers her a rapper. She’s pop/hip hop

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003197905700 Alix Harvey

    How is none of Kreayshawn’s lyric on this list? Did you just turn on the radio randomly in the past couple years to find crappy lyrics? Is that lipgloss song even really hip hop???

  • YOU SUCK

    you are pathetic.  first of all, these are not the worst lines from rap songs A) because each one of those lines is catchy as F#%$ which makes them great, B) putting Young Dro as number 1 is a sin.  I feel badly for you that this is what you spend your time doing instead of going and listening to some real hip hop.  Atmosphere Murs and Brother Ali are great, but listen to Cormega, Big-L, Tupac, Ghostface-killah, Kendrick lamar.

    “its going down….basement”  idiot

    • Bridget

      I saw ghostface in concert and he sucked. Oh hey look….that’s my opinion….and begin to judge me….now

  • radsmum

    Well this made me laugh, we could add a hundred more “songs” to this. I really love rap and hip hop bc I can totally relate. I mean a song all about a hoe and smoking blunts, wow just living the dream. Who cares if the writer knows ANYTHING about rap, the fact that most of this shit exists is sad. Even better songs are rapping about ridin on dubs and smackin bitches….oh America….

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