There are several gradients of drunk that are possible. Numerous individuals will enter and continue their adult lives acquainted with only one item on the following list, and will report said item occurs predictably on every occasion on which they drink. The experience of other individuals will be generally comprised of two or more, but not all items on the following list.
Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally awesome are movies with cheesy-ass special effects, sensational plots and an extreme disregard for reality. Terrible movies are terrible, but they’re also awesome.
Recently, a good friend of mine and former roommate, who happens to be gay, made a pass at me through a facebook message. He knows that I’m straight and threw in, “two thoughts: I want you to be gay, and I want you to be my boyfriend.” Does that mean he respects my straightness and just wants to put it out there? Is he joking?
I happened upon Requiem for a Dream at the local video store, and I’m pretty sure I was filled with tears by the end. It was so damn sad the way heroin fucked up all the characters lives, and the editing seemed so awesome. The score by the Kronos Quartet really tugged my heart strings. But now, looking back, what an overwrought, over-indulgent, over-stylized piece of shit that movie is.
You like the party friend, but you actually don’t know a lot about them. Sometimes you wonder if they do normal things during the day like go grocery shopping or run to the post office. You also wonder if they’re actually happy and if so, how they could live this lifestyle you only experience once or twice a month.
Like many other straight men before me, I want to attempt anal sex with my girlfriend. But how do I go about this delicate subject? Do you think she’ll be into it? Also, will she, like, shit on my dick?
Having been out of high school for six years now, I’m able to look back at my experience with warm fuzzies and nostalgia. The self-loathing, the drama, the devastating outfit choices: It all seems like so much fun in retrospect! Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that the cheese mostly stands alone. Today when the topic of high school is broached, most people groan and say some variation of “So glad that’s over. That shit was traumatizing.” What gives? Am I the only one that liked high school?
In the 21st century, the popular social networking site Facebook has made a verb of the term ‘friend’, and it is now common to ‘friend’ people on Facebook/field numerous ‘friend’ requests on a regular basis.