I don’t cry every night when someone leaves anymore. I stopped wasting tears on people who wouldn’t shed a tear for me, I stopped giving people a free space in my heart when they kicked me out of theirs and I stopped letting people define my worth. I still get upset and I still get disappointed but I’ll never again give power to anyone to break me so they can make themselves whole.
I don’t chase people or try to force them to be in my life if they don’t want to. I don’t waste my energy running after things that will not make me stronger – things that only hold me back from getting to the finish line.
I could walk a few blocks but I’ll never again try to catch up with anyone who doesn’t look back and wait for me.
I don’t try to prove them wrong or win them back, I simply let them believe whatever they want to believe because they don’t want to see the truth. I don’t care if they want to paint me as the bad person or the good person and I don’t care what they say behind my back because at the end of the day they chose not to confront me, they chose to talk to everyone else but me and they chose to believe a bunch of lies instead of looking into my eyes to know the truth.
My heart doesn’t get shattered when it’s broken anymore, it’s been through all this before and knows it will be fine and it knows how to mend itself again. My heart may still fall for the wrong people but it will never be owned by anyone but me. My heart knows that it truly belongs to me, so it may wander every now and then but it will never lose its way and it will always return back home.
I don’t wonder why they left anymore, I let them wonder why I never cared, why I never asked or why I didn’t fight harder.
But the truth is the people who let me down will never be the people who will lift me back up so I let them go, even if it hurts, even if it’s not what I want and even if I will disappoint them but I don’t apologize for putting myself first anymore, I don’t apologize for giving up on people who gave up on me and I don’t apologize for forgetting those who walked in my life only to leave shortly after.
The truth is I broke down so many times before over people and I tried to win them back but I realized in doing so I’m allowing myself to give someone the power to destroy me and I learned to destroy things before they destroy me.