Kim Quindlen

Understand that experiencing emotional intimacy with another person is going to make you feel vulnerable, and that that’s a good thing.

“She was really chill and funny but also just gave off this I-don’t-take-any-bullshit attitude. I was instantly into her and knew that if I didn’t act like it, she’d have no problem moving on in a second. I basically did the opposite of ghosting and actually CALLED her the next day.”

Black and White Cat: It takes you some time to thaw, but once you’ve found the right partner, you’re very warm and affectionate.

“She spent the entire time gossiping and bashing other people. It was clearly coming from a place of deep insecurity and unhappiness. But when I brought it up (as kindly as possible) she flipped a shit and hasn’t spoken to me since. So I guess she broke up with me. I think I’ll be fine.”

Falling in love the real way means realizing that a lot of stuff in your life still sucks anyway, no matter how in love you are. That love doesn’t solve your problems and love doesn’t make your demons go away. But it does mean you have someone standing next to you the whole time, holding your hand and reminding you that you’re not alone as you try to fight the bad stuff.

Taurus: As motivated as you are by success, wealth, and improvement, you need to make sure you’re putting 100% of your effort into everything you do, instead of spreading yourself too thin and only giving 20% or 30% of your effort to projects that turn out poorly and therefore cause you to feel frustrated and disappointed in yourself.

When he’s not embarrassed to shed happy tears in front of you – especially when the moment is so sweet and so honest that it almost kills you.

Pisces: Your beliefs about love can sometimes be too idealistic. It’s great to have standards and high hopes for the person you hopefully end up with, but when it starts to resemble a list of qualifications that your partner must have with no exceptions, it significantly decreases your odds of finding the right person, or of finding anyone at all.

“He basically implied that he was doing me a favor by coming back to me but phrased it in a way where he assumed I would take it as a compliment. Because he’s a self-centered moron like that. That’s when I knew that if I had an ounce self-respect left, I had to be DONE.”

Be present in everything you do. Pay attention to the food you eat and how good it tastes, to the wine you drink and how pleasant the flavors are, to the movie you’re watching without simultaneously scrolling through your phone and missing all the important parts, to the walk you’re on and how beautiful your surroundings are. Put in the effort, one day at a time, to open your eyes to the life you’ve created for yourself. Because as they always say, if you blink, you really might miss it.

Chris Pratt in Jurassic World or Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy?

Aries: You assume that you need to date someone who is just as energetic and adventurous as you in order to be happy. But in reality, sometimes dating your complete opposite can be really good for you, especially in terms of bringing you back down to earth and showing you how to actually relax.

Anybody can fall in love with a soulmate – the articulate, flawless, mysterious beings who never spend a single minute looking or feeling or seeming uncertain. But falling in love with your person – somebody who still makes you smile despite all of the suck that surrounds us on a daily basis? That’s rare.

Taurus: Anything that inspires comfort: loose, relaxing clothes, being in their bed, candles, good wine, not being on a diet.

“Be appreciative.”

Looking at dating apps as one extreme or the other – either they’re your shameful, desperate, last resort attempt at love, or they’re something you would never, ever try.

“You’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

Virgo: You’ve started doing what you want rather than worrying about pleasing anyone else, you’re making more room for ‘play’ in your life instead of obsessing over work, and you’ve begun reorganizing your life to give you back a sense of control and peace.