14 Women Reveal What Finally Got Them To Stop Texting Their Ex Back


1. “Saw him on Tinder two days after he had called me on the phone, acting all emotional and dramatic, talking about how he ‘wanted me back.’ And I’m actually really happy that this happened. It was just the catalyst I needed to realize he was the worst.”

–Lela, 24

2. “My mom told me I was a shell of myself anytime I was around him or talking to him and that did it for me.”

–Tasha, 24

3. “I had this bizarrely casual epiphany while I was sitting at my desk at work. I had wasted the whole weekend sitting on my couch waiting to hear from him because he had said he wanted to see me again and meet me out. But then he ‘got caught up with stuff’ both nights. My coworker asked what I had done over the weekend and I turned bright red and made something up. And right after that I just had like a FUCK HIM moment. I deleted him out of my contacts, blocked his number, and haven’t spoken to him since.”

–Maya, 25

4. “He basically implied that he was doing me a favor by coming back to me but phrased it in a way where he assumed I would take it as a compliment. Because he’s a self-centered moron like that. That’s when I knew that if I had an ounce self-respect left, I had to be DONE.”

–Kellie, 23

5. “He posted a pic of him and his new girlfriend on Instagram. And a lot of the times you can tell that ex’s are doing this to start drama or to rub it in your face, but it didn’t feel like that this time. It was like I could finally see that he was honestly happy and that was when I knew it was time to let go. It was still horrible, but at least my brain knew to move on.”

–Lora, 26

6. “He said he wanted to ‘keep things casual this time around.’ Right after he had slept with me. I told him to get the fuck out and to never call me again. He texted me a few more times (at 2 in the morning of course) but I never answered him again. Which felt fantastic.”

–Gretchen, 27

7. “My little sister is what got me to stop. He had done so many shitty things to me and she was always my sounding board. And when I told her I was texting him again she just looked so disappointed with me that it killed me. So I ended it. I didn’t want her to think I was pathetic.”

–Trace, 24

8. “My best friend knew I was texting him again and had always kept her mouth shut about it. And then one night I was getting upset about how he was texting me even though he was still with the girl he had cheated on me with, and she just lost it and was yelling about how I was wasting my life chasing after some asshole who did nothing but hurt me. It was like a slap in the face… but a much needed slap in the face.”

–Elisa, 27

9. “He said he wanted to start seeing me again but that we shouldn’t tell anyone, so we could ‘keep the pressure off.’ I looked him in the eye and said ‘how fucking stupid do you think I am?’ I know this sounds dramatic, but I was instantly unattracted to him after that.”

–Karla, 24

10. “It actually was my therapist. She said I was addicted to the high of the ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ excitement of it all. That talking to him again was making me feel powerful and loved but that it was all a false, temporary high and that the crash would be so much worse than the ‘fun part’ of it. Hearing it put into such blunt, matter-of-fact words was what opened my eyes to the fact that I was gonna seriously regret this if I didn’t stop.”

–Claire, 29

11. “My friend told me to tally up how many times he had made me cry versus how many times I was happy around him. If you need a good kick in the pants when you’re trying to let go of a shitty guy, that’ll do it for you.”

–Faye, 26

12. “I met a better one. Who made my ex look like a complete idiot and a worthless piece of crap.”

–Jeanne, 23

13. “We had stayed ‘friends’ because we had all the same friends. Aka we still hooked up even though we had ‘broken up’ but he still treated me like crap – flirting with other girls right in front of me, only paying attention to me when he was drunk, etc. And then one night we all went out for my best friend’s birthday and I had to stay sober because I was on antibiotics. He got absolutely wasted and I got to see – with clear eyes- how much of a total slob and pathetic mess he is when he drinks. And that was the final straw I needed to call it quits. He’s tried to get back with me so many times and each time I’m more and more repulsed by him. Feels so great, and powerful.”

–Meghan, 22

14. “I could feel myself constantly making excuses for him and saw the disappointment on my friends’ faces that I just could not let it go. And each time I wanted to talk about it, their eyes glazed over more and more. Not because they were bad friends, but because I was a freaking broken record. I was tired of feeling pathetic and desperate for him. So I told him to stop texting me, and even though I missed that attention for a bit, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.”

–Cass, 26 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Keep up with Kim on Instagram and Twitter

More From Thought Catalog