J.K. Rowling finally released the Patronus quiz on Pottermore today, and we all freaked the fuck out. Here’s what kind of girlfriend you are, based on your Patronus.
Aardvark: You have a ton of energy and love nothing more than the stage of getting to know each other. You are endlessly curious about your partner and want to understand them on a deeper level.
Abraxan Winged Horse: You’re a powerful presence and you tend to take on the emotional burdens of your significant other.
Adder: You tend to cut yourself off when you feel yourself getting close to someone, but if you can make it through that fear, you’re certain about who you are and what kind of partner you need.
Badger: It’s difficult to get you upset. You’ve been called “chill” more than once, but you also know how to stand up for yourself.
Basset Hound: You cut straight to the point and only spend time with partners who interest you and don’t mess around.
Bat: You like to live a certain way, and are pretty frank and unapologetic about it with whomever you’re seeing.
Bay Mare: To you, being two separate people with two separate live does not mean you can’t also be one strong, unified force.
Bay Stallion: You can come off as rough and abrasive when you really like someone, but once you’re in it, you’re in it for good.
Beagle: You’re a sentimental person, and all you care about is being in a relationship where you make each other feel cared for and appreciated.
Black and White Cat: It takes you some time to thaw, but once you’ve found the right partner, you’re very warm and affectionate.
Black Bear: You’re intimidating to others, but your ‘person’ knows you’re just a big softie.
Black Mare: You’re drawn to excitement, and for you a relationship is about fostering growth, adventure, and newness every
Black Mamba: People have a hard time figuring you out, and so do you. You avoid confrontation in relationships and are always working against your instinct to flee and protect yourself from getting hurt.
Black Stallion: You’ve dated a lot of people, but when it comes to committing and settling down, you’re a one-and-done type of girl.
Black Swan: You have a hard time with trust, but when you feel good about someone, you are not afraid of commitment and monogamy.
Blackbird: You’re not good at expressing yourself and often accidentally draw in the wrong types because of your mysterious nature. When you’ve found someone you truly care about, however, you’re open and extremely accepting.
Bloodhound: You’re loyal and playful, and are not afraid to tackle the difficult subjects as long as you’ve got your partner next to you.
Borzoi: You’re calm and shy in the beginning, but the more you get to know someone, the more antsy and exuberant you become.
Brown Bear: Not one to be messed with.
Brown Hare: You’re to the point. If it’s working for you, great. If not, you’re onto the next one.
Brown Owl: You’re up front about communication and always tell your partner exactly what you’re thinking and what you need from them.
Buffalo: You come off with a tough exterior but you’re extremely empathetic and loving.
Buzzard: You’re honest about your needs and expectations, and if they aren’t being met, you’ll say something. You’re equally capable of taking feedback from your partner.
Calico Cat: You love to make your partner feel appreciated and cared about, and although you need your space, you also like to be sweet and loving.
Capuchin Monkey: You show your love through humor and never take anything too seriously.
Cheetah: You fall fast, but you don’t get panicked when you hit the ground and things slow down.
Chestnut Mare: You’re bold, you know it, and you don’t care.
Chestnut Stallion: You need room to roam but you’ll always come back to your significant other. You know a good thing when you see it.
Chow Dog: You value a relationship with someone who can make you laugh and loves you for the silly person that you are.
Crow: It’s pretty much impossible to throw you off. You can roll with the punches and you don’t get upset easily.
Dapple Grey Mare: You’re as chill as they come, but you refuse to take crap from anyone.
Dapple Grey Stallion: You have high standards (in a good way), but at the end of the day all you really care about is that you’re with someone who respects you and makes you happy.
Deerhound: You’re a little bit mischievous and a lot silly, but it doesn’t mean you don’t know how to handle an adult relationship. You just like to have fun too.
Doe: You’re a fierce and loyal partner, but you also refuse to let anyone walk all over you.
Dolphin: You’re easy to read and make whoever you’re with feel like the most special person in the world.
Dragon: You expect to be treated with respect, and if it doesn’t happen, you avoid the drama and just keep on walking.
Dragonfly: You respond to a partner who is light and flexible, and are most concerned with experiencing growth between you and your S.O.
Dun Mare: You’re not easily rattled and can always communicate your feelings calmly and eloquently.
Dun Stallion: You’re honest and unaffected, and don’t feel weird about making your desires and needs clear.
Eagle: You have a great bullshit sensor and you always listen to it.
Eagle Owl: You can never date anyone who likes you more than you like them.
Elephant: You’re patient, forgiving, and very encouraging to whoever you’re with, and you always date people with similar temperaments.
Erumpent: You’re very passionate but also sensitive, so you’re very selective about the kinds of people you date.
Falcon: You’re not a waverer. You decide on the spot if you like a person or not and then you go in for it.
Field Mouse: You don’t need a lot to be happy, just someone who loves to be in nature and will always be down to do fun, new things with you.
Fire-Dwelling Salamander: You’re not easily scared or intimidated and are great at calming your partner down and making them feel safe.
Fox: You’re blunt, and prefer to come right out and say what you think and want instead of worrying about following ‘proper dating rules.’
Fox Terrier: You’re as loyal as they come, even if it takes you quite some time to admit to your own feelings.
Ginger Cat: You can initially come off as aloof and detached, but when you’ve found someone you like and trust, you’re incredibly loyal.
Goshawk: You’re hard to impress, but also hard to upset. You have a very even temperament.
Granian Winged Horse: You have no issues with commitment and are not afraid to move fast, as long as your partner feels the same.
Grass Snake: You hold off for a while, and always end up surprising your significant other with your seemingly sudden interest.
Great Grey Owl: You greatly enjoy the process of falling in love, but you do get a little antsy once it’s reached its ‘everyday’ stage.
Grey Squirrel: You’re not afraid to put effort into your relationship and to admit that being in a relationship does not always come easily or naturally to you.
Greyhound: You’re an adventurous spirit who’s attracted to the kind of person who will run with you instead of trying to get you to settle down with them.
Hare: You’re a bit whimsical and your type varies. It takes your significant others a bit of time to figure you out.
Hedgehog: It can be tough to get to know you, but once you’ve let someone in, you love nothing more than to cuddle, mutter sweet nothings, and spend all day in bed together doing nothing.
Heron: At the end of the day, what matters to you is that you and your partner foster a relationship of mutual respect, kindness, loyalty, and dedication to helping one another become better people.
Hippogriff: You greatly value your freedom and independence, so you only date people who also have a lot of stuff going on and don’t ever make you feel claustrophobic.
Hummingbird: You’re an extremely patient and comfortable partner, who knows how to stick up for yourself but also how to listen.
Huskey: You bring an unbridled sense of enthusiasm to any relationship you’re in.
Hyena: You often use humor to deflect from emotional intimacy, but once you move past that stage, you’re a dedicated partner.
Ibizan Hound: It always seems like nothing bothers you or shakes you up, but when the right person comes around, your attachment is fast and steady from the get-go.
Impala: You’re not a tough one to please, and are pretty down to earth when it comes to what you want in another person.
Irish Wolfhound: You’re easily entertained and your partner always gravitates to your contagious energy.
King Cobra: You love fiercely, but you’re not afraid to cut things off if you aren’t being treated well.
Kingfisher: Your greatest fear in a relationship is falling into a mundane routine. You value exploration and adventure with your partner.
Leopard: You’re the point and uninhibited, never wasting time with small talk or niceties.
Leopardess: You value a significant other who lets you be you. If they don’t, you’re out of their as fast as your legs can take you.
Lioness: You’re loyal beyond belief to whomever you love, and will stand your ground against anyone who crosses you or your person.
Little Owl: You don’t feel the need to affirm yourself. You are who you are and if the person you’re with doesn’t like it, you move on.
Lynx: You have a calming presence and are always the one to remain cool under pressure when things get stressful or intense.
Magpie: You’re aware of your emotional intelligence, and use it to argue in a way that is always productive and healthy.
Manx Cat: You want the exact right amount of affection in a relationship – not too much, not too little, you’re not about that PDA life.
Marsh Harrier: You’re flexible and open with what you want, but you don’t wait around for people who can’t make up their mind.
Mastiff Dog: You’re not naturally inclined to a relationship, but you’ll do it if it can work for you with a person who’s not too needy or clingy.
Mink: You don’t tiptoe around your feelings, you just saw what’s bothering you or what’s on your mind, and then you get over it and move on.
Mole: You don’t put up with anything that wastes your time, and prefer a cozy night on the couch over a fancy 5-star restaurant.
Mongrel Dog: You have a lot of different sides to you, and are quite particular about the way you let your partner get to know you.
Mountain Hare: You don’t shy away from a challenge, and you look at disagreements as just a way to get closer.
Nebelung Cat: You’re as mild and as tranquil as they come. Always ready to listen and be a sounding board for your significant other.
Newfoundland: You have a sweet temperament and are most concerned with whether or not the people you care about are happy. That’s your biggest priority.
Nightjar: You’re mostly interested in the kind of partner who will stay up until 4 in the morning with you playing video games and finishing an entire pizza.
Occamy: You can seem cold and calculating to people who don’t know you, but you’re protective and loyal to the people you love.
Ocicat: A lot of people think you’re the partying type, but all you want to do is bingewatch your favorite show on a Saturday morning while you lay in your significant other’s lap.
Orangutan: You’re gentle, understanding, and are never quick to judge or jump to conclusions.
Orca: You value family, and fostering a relationship that puts that as one of your biggest priorities as a couple.
Oryx: You’re a deep thinker and are happiest when you’re with someone who you feel you can talk to about anything.
Osprey: You have a strong sense of adventure, and are never intimidated when you reach the stage in a relationship when things get challenging or slippery.
Otter: You’re empathetic, and emotionally intelligent to the point where you can read what the other person is feeling within seconds.
Peacock: You put on a bit of a show in the beginning, but on the rare occasion that you let someone know you beneath the surface level, you’ll show them a side of yourself they would never expect.
Pheasant: No games, no surprises. You just value something with someone that feels solid, steady, and drama-free.
Piebald Mare: You’re warm and uninhibited with your feelings, unconcerned with seeming a certain way and totally comfortable just being you.
Piebald Stallion: You can sometimes be highly-strung, but when you’re comfortable with someone, you have no qualms about opening yourself up.
Pine Marten: You’re a bit shy in the beginning, but when you’re comfortable enough, your heart becomes an open book.
Polar Bear: You’re extremely tender with your person, no matter how many times your friends joke that you’re an ‘ice queen.’
Polecat: You’re smart and energetic when it comes to the dating world, and know exactly what kind of partner you need in order to feel fulfilled in your relationship.
Python: You’re intimidating to some, but exciting to those who aren’t thrown off by your sharp sense of humor.
Ragdoll Cat: You’re a very laid-back girlfriend, as long as your S.O. doesn’t give you reason to be otherwise.
Rat: You usually need to have known someone for a long time before you consider dating them. Although you have trouble with trust, you’re always making an effort to get better.
Rattlesnake: You can be a bit protective of yourself, but as long as your significant other can prove themselves from the get-go, you still jump in all the way.
Raven: You can be a bit of a worrier, but you’re also smart about only being with people who treat you well and make you feel confident in your relationship.
Red Squirrel: You appreciate words of affirmation and affection, but all you really care about is how someone shows you that they love you.
Rhinoceros: You’re protective over your partner and will call out anyone who tries to take advantage of them in any way.
Robin: You show your love through small acts of thoughtfulness – writing notes, picking up their favorite beer after work, making them homemade gifts.
Rottweiler: Equal parts tough and warm, you have a soft side with your loved ones but will fight anyone who causes a threat to them.
Runespoor: You’ve hurt a lot of people in the past, and are always hesitant to get into a new relationship for fear of doing the same thing again. But you still force yourself to get out there anyway. And if it’s the right person, you’re ready to go all in.
Russian Blue Cat: You develop deep bonds very quickly, and it very rarely ever freaks you out.
Saint Bernard: You don’t need much, just you and your person and food and a blanket and a movie – best date night ever, in your opinion.
Salmon: You don’t get deterred easily and will always fight for something that makes you happy.
Scops Owl: You are initially wary when you’re dating, particularly if you like someone. But once you’ve settled down with someone, you throw any hesitations out the window.
Seal: You don’t handle heavy relationships well. If there’s no sense of lightness or fun, you are out.
Shark: You tend to be misunderstood, so when you find the right person, you’re a surpassingly loving and fierce partner.
Shrew: You don’t date regularly, and you greatly enjoy doing things on your own, but when you find someone who can fall in line with that, you’ll welcome them into your life.
Siberian Cat: You don’t like to be coddled, but you also greatly value quality time and feeling physically close to your S.O.
Snowy Owl: The most important thing to you in a relationship is time. All you really want is to be physically close to your significant other, even if you’re not doing the same activity – just spending time together is enough.
Sparrow: You’re a curious partner, and really try to work on learning something new about your partner every day.
Sparrowhawk: If there’s drama involved, you’re out. You want something that’s real and that’s all you need.
Sphynx Cat: You love to be around people and get your energy from spending quality time with your person after a long day of work.
Stag: You can be quite stubborn, but you value your relationship more than you value being right or winning the argument.
Stoat: You’re comfortable with who you are and confident when it comes to your dating choices.
Swallow: You value a relationship that is equal parts lighthearted and deep-rooted. You want to have fun, but in a relationship that has a lot of depth.
Swift: You can’t handle a partner that drags you down. As long as you’re with someone who’s supportive and is happy to also do their own thing, you’re happy too.
Thestral: You can be somewhat dark and closed-off, but you always stick around when things are difficult and challenging.
Tiger: You’re not afraid of a challenge. You appreciate it and are often drawn to it.
Tigress: Nothing throws you off. If your relationship goes through some bumps and uncertainties, cool, you’ll figure it out.
Tiny Owl: You don’t like to be treated as if you’re fragile. You want someone who will make you feel safe and protected without making you feel like you’re being kept under their wing.
Tonkinese Cat: You’re fun to be around and love to have great conversations, but you also need to receive a significant amount of affection from your partner to feel comfortable and connected with them.
Tortoiseshell Cat: You’re straightforward about what you want, and you never play games, because you find hiding your feelings to be too exhausting.
Unicorn: You have a lot of unexpected personality traits that often seem contradictory, so it takes a while for you to get to know someone on a more serious level.
Vole: You work hard, you don’t get distracted easily, you see things for what they are. If you’re happy in a relationship, you’ll stay. If you’re not, you’ll say something or you’ll move on and get over it.
Vulture: Commitment doesn’t intimidate you. If you want someone, you’ll say it right to their face. If you get rejected, you’ll recover pretty quickly.
Weasel: You don’t typically go for casual flings. You only date the types of people you could imagine yourself starting a family with.
West Highland Terrier: It’s difficult for you to admit when you have feelings for someone, but after you get over that initially scary leap, you’re extremely thoughtful and selfless.
White Mare: You’re warm, loving, and are unafraid of telling someone how they make you feel.
White Stallion: Nothing makes you happier than making your partner smile and feel loved.
White Swan: You’ve been hurt before and are more guarded because of it, but you’re constantly doing your best to be as open as you can.
Wild Boar: You can get a bit of a temper, so it’s important for you to be with someone who loves you for who you are but doesn’t purposely ever try to rile you up.
Wild Rabbit: You love exploring a new person and getting to know all of their quirks and tendencies. It’s your favorite part of a new relationship.
Wildcat: People often don’t know what to make of you, but when you find someone who interests you enough, you’re not afraid to open up to them and let them get to figure you out.
Wolf: You’re used to being on your own, and you’re good at it, but when you find the right person, you mate for life.
Wood Mouse: You don’t need much to make you happy. As long as you’re with someone who makes you feel safe and taken care of, physically, mentally, and emotionally, you’re happy.