Jeff Markum

This is what you get when you cheat and then don’t log out of Facebook.

*Obligatory not all women.

Many of these you might not ever even suspect he’s thinking about.

You have to admit it doesn’t look good.

Her arm broken in two places, she dangled from the donation box for six hours.

“These two love each other more than any bonded pair the shelter has ever seen. They cry when they leave each other’s side.”

“Abortion has never been about ‘choice’…it’s about escaping the consequences of your choices by taking all choices away from another human being.”

No wishing for infinite wishes. No wishing for more genies. No wishing for the genie to forget you’ve used your wishes.

“This nation was founded on Christianity and the Bible. You need to check it out because we need to get back to the way it was originally designed.”

This is flirting gone wrong and then gone right again.

The message is plain as day once you know what to look for.

If you have someone who loves you this way then you’re winning at life.

“That dog is so skinny. Oh my God.”

“Now I’m not going to get my fucking phone fixed.”