Holly Riordan

Stop putting yourself in situations where you’re the one who cares more, the one who does more, the one who hurts more.

You assume nothing good lasts forever. You assume there must be a catch whenever you come across someone who is on their best behavior. 

Sometimes, people are going to act like you’re the one in the wrong because they don’t want to deal with their own baggage. They don’t want to stop and ask themselves why they’re so guarded, why they’re so standoffish, why they’re so afraid of commitment.

The worst regrets are the ones you have about holding yourself back, about hesitating to put yourself out there, about playing it safe and remaining inside your comfort zone.

If you want to be successful, then the first step is believing in yourself. If you don’t think there’s a point in trying, then you’re going to get discouraged. You’re not going to have the motivation to put yourself out there.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put in the effort. You’re going to have to give your person love and attention, even when you’re tired, even when you’re stressed, even when you’re not in the mood to deal with people.

You can’t expect to be the only person in their world — but you certainly shouldn’t feel like a backup plan when the rest of their friends are busy.

You assume everyone else sees you the way you see yourself. As nothing special.

When you’re feeling empty, it’s hard to find the energy to give a shit about yourself.

You shouldn’t make your partner wonder whether everything they’ve been doing is for nothing, whether you even notice all of the effort they’ve been putting into your relationship.

You don’t want to pretend your past never happened, pretend your ex never existed, pretend your heartache isn’t real — but you don’t want to spend every waking moment thinking about him either.

You trust the self-destructive, insecure voice in the back of your head more than you trust your supportive, encouraging loved ones.

Stop playing the fixer, the healer, the hero.

Now, there’s not one, but two different alcoholic drinks based off the show. 

It can feel like you’re the only one putting in effort. It can feel like you care about your relationship more than the other person cares.

When you’re a fixer, it’s hard to convince yourself it’s time to stop, it’s time to step back, it’s time to give up.

Being yourselves around each other doesn’t mean being your worst selves around each other.

As soon as your tone shifts, she’s going to feel like you’re angry at her and it’s going to activate all of her insecurities. She’s going to worry she’s been bothering you, worry she’s been weighing you down, worry you’re thinking about leaving her because she has too much baggage for you to handle.