When you love someone, you don’t keep track over every little thing you each contribute to the relationship. You have faith that you’re both doing the best you can. You trust that you’re both working hard to keep your relationship strong.
When you love someone, you thank your person for what they’re able to do for you, even if it seems like something small. If you happen to put in a little more work on any given week, you don’t mind because you know your person is going to make it up to you in the future when you’re feeling stressed. You know everything is going to balance itself out eventually, so you don’t need to worry.
When you love someone, you don’t treat every single chore like some sort of competition. You don’t keep a tally of how many times your person has washed the dishes this week versus how many times you’ve done the laundry this week. You don’t count up their ‘failings’ in order to hold it over their head the next time you have an argument.
If you feel like the relationship has become one-sided, then yes, you should have a conversation with them about it. But you shouldn’t be annoyed with them for spending fifty dollars on date night this week when you spent sixty dollars last week. You shouldn’t be treating your relationship like a game where you can score points.
When you love someone, you should be doing nice things for them because you want to see them happy, because you want to make life easier on them, because you want to be a good partner. You shouldn’t be doing nice things simply so you can get nice things in return. That kind of thought process can become dangerous because not every week is going to be equal. Some weeks, your person is going to be off their game. Other weeks, your person is going to go above and beyond what you would ever expect from them.
When you love someone, you don’t treat them like your competition. You treat them like a teammate. You recognize you’re on the same side. You’re recognize you’re supposed to support each other, not fight against each other. At the end of the day, you should both want the same thing. To keep your relationship strong.
When you love someone, you cannot win when they lose. You are either both winners because when your person succeeds, you succeed. Or you’re both losers because when your person suffers, you suffer. No matter what happens in your relationship, you have to remember you’re meant to work as a team. You’re meant to sit on the same set of bleachers.
When you love someone, you don’t want to make each other feel bad. You don’t want to fault each other over your weaknesses. You want to combine your strengths in order to build a strong, long-lasting relationship.
When you love someone, you’re on the same side. So start acting like it.