Holly Riordan

You don’t understand why the relationship ended. You don’t understand why they treated you the way they treated you. Maybe if you understood it would be easier to deal with the pain.

You don’t want to fall for them again and break up with them again over and over on a loop. You are better than that self-destructive cycle. You deserve more than that illusion of love.

The only way you know for sure you aren’t going to reach your dreams is if you stop trying, stop putting in effort, stop risking failure. 

Sometimes, letting go means you’re brave enough to be honest with yourself. It means you’re wise enough to see when something isn’t working.

When someone you love won’t let you help them, you have to take a step back and remind yourself it’s not your responsibility to save them.

The pain you’re feeling right now is not going to make a permanent home within you.

If you make more money than them or graduate earlier than them or turn out better than them at something they’re good at, they shouldn’t be pissed at you. They should be proud of you. If they’re uncomfortable with the fact you’re successful, they’re not your forever person. 

You might feel like it’s better to have someone around to compliment you and kiss you every once in a while, even though they’re never going to make the relationship official, than it is to be completely alone. But in the end, only having half of his heart is going to eat away at you.

There’s a part of me that feels like a shitty person because it’s not that hard to send a text, it’s not that hard to be there. But another part of me feels like it’s okay to be a little distant, to put myself first, to make sure my mental health is in a decent space.

They are going to make you feel like you don’t have a right to be happy without their permission, like you don’t have a right to be sad when it’s inconvenient for them, like you don’t have a right to be angry when it means they aren’t going to get their way anymore. 

You shouldn’t settle for whatever you’re getting, simply because you’re afraid of chasing someone away by asking for more.

You can’t rush the process. And you can’t pretend the process doesn’t exist, either. It might seem easier to pretend you’re okay, pretend nothing has hurt you, pretend there isn’t anything wrong, but that method is going to backfire on you in the long-run. It’s better for you to be vulnerable about your feelings, to be honest about what you’re going through, to avoid lying to yourself.  

If you’re always flopping back and forth between being ecstatic and miserable, loving them and hating them, then they aren’t worth the trouble. Someone else can give you those same highs without so many lows. 

You shouldn’t strive to look like the one who cares less.

You have to learn to separate your old, lingering fears from your reality.

You should want to meet their highest expectations, not their minimum expectations. 

If you’ve stopped communicating with them, if you’ve stopped confronting them when they’ve upset you, if you’ve stopped bothering to try to get them to see your side, then it’s probably time to end the relationship.

None of these things are asking for too much. They’re only too much when you’re asking the wrong person.