1. You give up on your crushes without really trying. You assume they are out of your league. You assume they wouldn’t have any interest in you. You assume they would break your heart. So you don’t even try to get to know them. You run away without even giving them a chance. You’re too scared to put yourself out there because you expect rejection. You expect to be told you aren’t good enough.
2. You have a hard time enjoying a good thing. Even when your relationship is going well, when your partner has been doing and saying all the right things, when it seems like you’ve finally found someone you can trust, it’s hard for you to relax and let your guard down. You assume there is something you aren’t seeing. You assume the relationship is too good to be true. You start searching for flaws in this person and making up scenarios in your head where they are cheating on you. You have trouble enjoying the moment because your’e waiting for it all to fall apart.
3. You assume one argument is the end of the world. When you fight with your person, you assume the relationship is over. You assume they’re planning on leaving. You assume you’ve lost them forever. It never crosses your mind that you could work things out and come out even stronger than before. You assume a breakup is a given unless the other person reaches out to apologize first.
4. You freak out whenever your partner has something to tell you. You jump to the worst case scenario. You think they’re going to break up with you. You think they’re going to abandon you. You think they’re going to reveal their interest in you was a lie and the relationship was one long joke. It doesn’t matter how hard they try to make you feel comfortable, because a part of you will always be expecting the worst.
5. You have trouble accepting affection, praise, and compliments. Hearing those three little words should be comforting, but for some reason, they make you uncomfortable. You assume the other person is lying to you, or assume they’re going to change their mind soon. On the other hand, if someone were to say something mean about you, you would automatically believe it. It’s much easier for you to accept negative things about yourself than positive things.
6. You make comparisons that kill the relationship. Even if your partner never brings up their exes, you will scour social media to find them. You will draw your own comparisons between yourself and your supposed competition. You will talk yourself into believing you aren’t good enough, even when your partner has made it clear you’re the only one they want.
7. You think of relationships as temporary, not permanent. You have a hard time picturing your life with someone five or ten years down the line because you assume you’re going to be alone again. You assume the single life is waiting. You assume a happily ever after isn’t in your future. You have a hard time imagining someone wanting to date you, let alone marry you or spend the rest of their life with you.