You Hurt Me -- But Somehow I'm The One Who Looks Like The Bad Guy

You Hurt Me — But Somehow I’m The One Who Looks Like The Bad Guy

It’s not fair that you messed up, you broke my heart, you acted completely inappropriately, and I’m the one who looks like the bad guy.

Now that I’ve finally come to my senses and kicked you out of my life, everyone assumes I’m overreacting — even though I gave you a million chances you didn’t deserve. I treated you fairly. I offered you my kindness and compassion. I gave you the benefit of the doubt long after you deserved even an ounce of my trust.

And yet, everyone views me as the bitch, the selfish one, the crazy one, because you have been so good at twisting the story in order to make yourself sound completely innocent. You know how to sway everyone to your side. You know how to gain their sympathy. You know how to alter facts. You know how to screw me over again and again and again.

It’s not enough that you’ve hurt me. You had to turn everyone against me, too. You had to make them believe in your side of the story. You had to make yourself look like the heartbroken one, the helpless one, the victim.

You could’ve owned up to the mistakes you’ve made. You could’ve vowed to make a serious change. You could’ve learned from your mistakes and became a better person because of them. If you took a more responsible, respectable path then maybe there would still be room for you in my life. Maybe I would’ve found it in my heart to give you one more chance. But after your reaction, after seeing how immature you’ve behaved when faced with consequences for the first time in your life, there’s no way you’re ever returning to my world. You’re permanently removed.

It’s simply not fair that, even though you were the one who made mistakes, I’m the one who is still getting punished for them. I’m the one who is getting viewed as the bad guy, even though the people judging me wouldn’t have put up with half as much as me. They wouldn’t have left you in their life for a fraction as long as I had. They would’ve walked away the first time you screwed up, and still, they call me selfish. Stubborn. A bitch.

I’m not going to apologize for sticking up for myself. I’m not going to feel bad about the fact that I’ve finally realized what I’ve deserved — and it doesn’t involve you. It doesn’t involve constant disrespect. It doesn’t involve nasty arguments. It doesn’t involve unstoppable drama.

The best thing I ever did for myself was removing you from my life. It brought me clarity. Sanity. Self-confidence. Fulfillment.

Even though getting rid of you was good for me, it hasn’t been easy. Despite how cold and selfish everyone thinks I am now, you meant the world to me. I tried to stay. I tried to fight. I wouldn’t have walked away unless I had reached my final straw. I wouldn’t have let you go unless it was absolutely necessary. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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