You shouldn’t feel bad about your feelings. You shouldn’t feel like you aren’t allowed to be upset when your partner makes a mean comment because you’re overreacting. You shouldn’t feel like you don’t have the right to be angry at your person before you become an official couple because they don’t owe you anything.
Your emotions are valid. You shouldn’t feel bad about whatever you’re experiencing because your feelings are out of your control. However, your actions are completely within your control.
You can handle your anger by cursing and screaming — or by giving yourself time to cool off and then having a mature conversation with the person who upset you. You can handle your sorrow by isolating yourself and swearing off of love forever — or by analyzing your feelings and coming up with a solution.
Remember, you’re allowed to be upset. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to be an emotional mess. But you’re not allowed to hurt the people you love the most by lashing out at them. You’re not allowed to disrespect them and blame it on some other outside force instead of taking responsibility for what you chose to do.
Of course, although your actions are always completely within your power, your emotions are much harder to control. You can’t erase your jealousy or your heartache, simply because you don’t want to feel that way anymore. Stuffing your emotions deep down your chest might work for now — but it’s going to backfire on you eventually.
It’s not healthy to pretend you’re heartless. Acting like you don’t care about anyone except yourself isn’t going to do you any favors. It’s only going to cause more problems down the road.
You need to start giving yourself permission to feel your emotions, even the most uncomfortable ones, especially the most uncomfortable ones. You need to stop blaming yourself for caring too much, for growing too attached, for making something out of nothing. It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you. It’s important. It shouldn’t be ignored.
Even though you might feel like your emotions are overexaggerated or unimportant, you should tell the people you love the most how you’re feeling. You shouldn’t hide bits and pieces of yourself because you’re scared of coming on too strong, of chasing them away.
Anyone who convinces you that you aren’t allowed to feel a certain way is doing you a disservice. They’re stopping you from being your most authentic self.
If they’re the right person for you, then they’ll listen to what you have to say. They’ll be excited you entrusted them with your deepest thoughts. They will never accuse you of acting too clingy or needy or annoying. They will be there for you, no matter what you are feeling.
You should never feel bad about having such strong, unshakable emotions. You should be proud of your soft heart. You should be excited about how much excitement you can feel at once. The strength of your emotions is a power, not a weakness.