When You’re Not Looking For Anything Serious, Don’t Make Her Think You Like Her

Girl looking for something serious
Ayo Ogunseinde

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t text her from the second you wake up in the morning until the second you snore yourself to sleep. Don’t tell her how much you miss her when you spend a few days apart. Don’t make her feel like you’re falling for her when you’re only going to break her heart.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t stick around for hours after you sleep with her to cuddle with her. Don’t stay until morning and ask her to grab breakfast with you. Don’t make her feel like the sex has nothing to do with why you’ve been spending so much time with her.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t introduce her to your parents, your grandparents, and your best friends. Don’t invite her to holiday parties and ask her to be a plus-one for a wedding. Don’t carve out a place for her in your life.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t get jealous when she’s been hanging out with another boy. Don’t promise her that she’s the only person you’re interested in seeing. Don’t make her feel like she is your girlfriend when you aren’t willing to give her that title.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t look at her like you’re falling in love with her. Don’t joke around with her like she’s your best friend in the world. Don’t get her hopes up if you’re only going to disappoint her.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t send her mixed signals. When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t give her a reason to think you’re lying about wanting to keep things casual.

It doesn’t matter if you looked her in the eyes and told her that you aren’t looking for anything serious, if you were honest with her from the very first time you met. That doesn’t mean you’re doing the right thing. That doesn’t mean that you haven’t done anything wrong.

If your actions aren’t lining up to your words, if you’re saying one thing and doing another, she’s going to dismiss what you originally said. She is going to assume that you want to date her, because just friends do not act the way that you’ve been acting.

When you’re not looking for anything serious, don’t expect her to come running every time you call, to hang out with you every single weekend, to stay loyal to only you. Don’t expect her to treat you like you’re her entire world.

If you are expecting her to do those things, then don’t blame her for falling for you, even though you already told her a relationship was off limits. Don’t blame her for caring about you more than she should. Don’t blame her for getting her heart broken by you — because you are the reason why this is happening. You are the reason why she thinks a relationship is in your future. You are the reason why she is miserable. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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