8. Don’t burn trash in your backyard
I’ve had neighbors with shitty DIY backyard fires.
They burned things in some kind of old bucket that produced smoke which smelled so toxic. The dad worked at fertilizer company or something. The air in the evening would be all soupy and thick with some kind of burnt off chemical residue or whatever that was in the bucket they lit. That’s how to not do fires in a yard.
9. Fuck Lisa, that asshole
I live in a two story apartment complex, and I’m on the second floor. Nobody lived downstairs for the first 4 months I was there, and it was great. Then Lisa moved in. I know her name is Lisa because she talks non fucking stop. She is on the phone screaming constantly. She was moved here from NYC because the dude she’s banging is sick of driving from his place in Philly up to NYC. Mind you, this guy is married with 3 kids. Again, I know all this because I hear everything through the floor. He stops by twice a day, at 6 pm and 4 am. And they have the loudest sex possible. Then he leaves. Then she calls someone and screams until she falls asleep.
This is my life.
