I lived down the street from a heroin dealer. My house was constantly being robbed by his customers. I forgot to lock my car and they stole my gps, and all my loose change. I didn’t lock my shed and they took my lawnmower and gas. I assume they filled their car up, but on the bright side, they returned the can to my shed after using it. If it wasn’t locked up, they would steal it, which is why I don’t have a bike anymore. SUPERSTORM Sandy flooded my house with 2 feet of water. My front door wouldn’t close because it had swelled from being immersed in water. My neighbors cleaned my house out. They took everything I own. They even went through my attic. They ripped my pipes out of the wall. They stole my oven, my sink, my furnace, my water heater, my refrigerator, my pavers, my car, my boat, my sports autograph collection with signatures from Willie Mays and Micky Mantle, my guns, but as expected they never even touched my book collection. Back to what they took: my guitars, my video games, my tv, my sleeping bag, my computer, and my coin collection.
Many stories but I will leave this bit of speech my genius neighbor spouted last weekend.
Screaming this from her front porch to her adult son who just jumped in his jeep…
“Put your seatbelt on, you been drinkin’!”