Christopher Hudspeth

“Clapping for the Wrong Reasons”

1. You love Starbucks as much, if not more than your least favorite family member.

1. Slow, but FREE Wi-Fi.

15. Your interaction naturally begins and ends with casual insults the majority of the time.

Created by an introvert and an extrovert.

8. Practicing stupid things that you’re too embarrassed to rehearse in front of friends, but would happily show off once mastered. E.g. Moonwalking or the cup song from Pitch Perfect.

5. You noticing them, staring at your boobs.

4. The classic, blue Breaking Bad meth was visible in a scene of The Walking Dead. Specifically in Daryl Dixon’s bag of pre-apocalypse acquired drugs.

1. Staring hypnotized at screens as you watch looping Vines & GIFs for a second, third, fourth, fiftieth time.

Let the greatness of the Space Jam soundtrack live on in your a.m. regiment, taking the wheel of your weak, exhausted body.

1. Daydream about what would happen if you died.

5. The misconception that silence = awkward.

Being awake for 17-19 straight hours declines your performance to lesser than or equal to a person with a blood alcohol level of 0.05%.

A gentle elbow touch.

The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. The Emperor of China, Mulan

Seriously, whatever you do, DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF THE BUG.

7. Hungry men tend to favor heavier women.

5. Scrolling down so, so far to reach your year of birth when filling out forms online.