Chrissy Stockton

“He didn’t know who Anne Frank was.”

When the police asked for a description of the man, Bob insisted he was wearing a white suit with long bunny ears.

Do not google micropenis.

You’ve always respected women. If your mom could do everything, why can’t any other woman?

The confidence to say “thanks but no thanks” to every guy who offers up a dating option that benefits him more than it benefits you.

1. Do something naked.

They would never, ever, let your birthday pass without making a big deal out of it. Even if you offer up a humble “I don’t really feel like making a big deal about it this year.”

They appreciate you endlessly for your ability to say, “you’re overthinking it, you don’t have to worry about it.”

Your best friend is the person you can confess your deepest fear to as well as your second deepest fear: that the population at large will discover the thing you fear most is accidentally hitting ‘like’ when you are a year and a half deep into your crush’s Instagram.

3. You aren’t a yes man.

It costs $234,900 to raise a child until it’s 18 (and that’s just if you make under 100k to begin with).

Dresses on women, suits on men.

It’s a really great time to be a woman.

Work is an area of a woman’s life that belongs solely to her.

Lately though, the noises have been louder, the thuds have been more frequent.

2. They smell good, look you in the eyes while speaking, and are slightly more touchy than most.

When something in your life isn’t working, you change it.

3. You learned that toughness is a vital part of femininity.