1. You get a lot of emails between the hours of 1-3am. Topics range from “OMG I JUST WIKIED NATALEE HOLLOWAY WTF HAPPENED TO NATALEE HOLLOWAY?!?!?” to “okay, so I’ve been thinking about it and I really think it’s time for me to start using night cream because I read this article where Jennifer Aniston said she started using night cream at 26 and I’m 25 now.”
2. You never have to worry about making reservations or figuring out transportation — they’ve always already thought of everything.
3. They make the best playlists for every mood — because they’ve spent hours analyzing the lyrics of each of the songs.
4. They appreciate you endlessly for your ability to say, “you’re overthinking it, you don’t have to worry about it.” Sometimes you just need to hear that from someone you trust.
5. You spend a lot of time talking. No life decision is too small to grab a coffee and dissect the pros and cons together. Which is totally fine because, coffee.
6. You’ve caught them thinking critically about a commercial for a fast food chain.
7. You have to remind them that just because they spent several hours analyzing their bosses’ twitter to see if they subtweeted anything about your friend’s work performance, the vast majority of people don’t have the endless energy required to send subtweets and construct rich under-the-surface relationship narratives. On the other hand, despite all their overthinking, their gut is right 99.9% of the time.
8. You always know who you can turn to when you’re unsure about your love life, a job, your family — anything. An overthinker is the best person to listen to your problems and help you feel better about them.
9. They had to buy an iPhone so they’d have the ability to screencap other people’s text messages — an essential part of your daily communication.
10. If you ever send a regrettable text or email you immediately call them, they’ve done it all before so they know if and how to unsend it or delete it remotely.
11. It feels good to be the person that an overthinker trusts, because you know they’ve dissected your words and actions and if you weren’t a good person and a loyal friend you would never be their go-to person. You don’t mind running interference with their love interest and assuring them that this is a prized position. Everyone should know what it feels like to be thoroughly vetted and come out on top.