Chelsea Fagan

You know it. Everyone knows it. It’s the perpetually chaotic, I’m-in-a-committed-relationship-with-mozzarella-sticks-and-Netflix brand of extended adolescence, wherein all of us live on the constant verge of total financial and personal collapse because we keep eight dollars in our checking accounts and refuse to maintain our personal relationships because of our #IntrovertLifestyle.

This is tragic, yes, but what is more tragic is that it is not uncommon. Many a dude is walking around the world with untouchable confidence, sure that the horrifying sex moves he learned from porn are sure to get a girl screaming and running to tell her friends just how great it was.

Young moms who only communicate in the form of sharing inspirational videos about rescue dogs and/or articles about how tough it is to be a mom that they tag all of their mom friends in and are like “Only you guys will get this tee hee!”

I don’t really understand this coat or the pastel blue purse but somehow she looks adorable.

And we never talk about these breakups, because we don’t think of them in the same way. We don’t analyze the loss in our lives the same way.

“Ariana turned to her security and ordered, ‘Make sure she deleted those.'”

Peanut butter & tomato sandwich. Get good tomatoes, and they’re better than jelly.

When you want to get your hair out of your face and look incredibly sweet and refined at the same, what better accessory is there than this headband? The answer is none. No accessories.

I will always hate myself every second of the ride (and cringe at the charge when I eventually look at my account).

This is all things “I don’t really need this but damn it feels good to have it.”

I once made an elaborate LinkedIn account that “worked in his industry,” amassed a decent amount of connections, then requested him so it wouldn’t seem like a scam. All of this because he didn’t use any other kind of social media and I wanted the dirt.

When it comes to makeup, think in terms of “grooming/enhancing” and not “covering/changing.” We all have qualities that we can be playing up, and focusing on the basics (good skin, nice brows, lightly enhanced eyes/lips) just makes us a better version of ourselves (instead of someone else entirely).

When she’s on her way home from a big day at work, text her to be like “I’m ordering takeout from [insert her favorite place here] and opening a bottle of wine. What would you like?”

“I make sure to eat one healthy meal at lunch so that, no matter what else happens that day, I get the good stuff in and I know I’ve fed my body in a way that will keep me going.”

The act of dating someone with whom you share all of the connections and markers of a relationship, but with whom you cannot commit in any way.

And honestly, if I were an angry guy on the internet, I’d probably be salty as hell about it, too.

Chances are high that, at least for a month, “Ohio Is For Lovers” was YOUR song.

Any time you modify your body, you accept that someone else might not like it. And that might include the hiring manager at Starbucks.