15. Again, cops aren’t ALWAYS looking to get you in trouble.

My dad retired from the NYPD. His precinct was Chinatown, but when he worked on a DEA task force he was working all over the city. One time he was in Union Square Park. This park still has so many small time weed dealers, so imagine how it was in 1986. Anyway my dad was a plain-clothes detective. These plain clothes do not look like what normal people wear. It’s easy to spot a cop. This guy walks up to him in the park and says “loose joints”. My dad, not wanting to arrest another small time pot dealer after arresting people all day, says “are you sure you want to sell that to me”. The guy insisted, and my dad says again, “look at me, do you want to sell that to me”. He kept insisting, and my dad had to arrest him. Fuckin idiot.

16. I guess this couple had a pretty romanticized idea of jail, huh?

Saw a car pull out of a parking space near a bar and take off without their lights on. Followed it for a few blocks as it bounced off the curb and crossed the centerline. Got enough dash cam footage and lit it up. Took her about 6 blocks to figure out that she needed to pull over. While conducting the field sobriety, a truck pulls up on the other side of the road and a guy starts to get (read fall) out of the cab. Another officer and I approach him and he starts hollering asking what we are doing with his wife. I asked him if he’d been drinking and he said he had. I then asked him how much he’d had, expecting the standard “2 beers” when he says, “Well sir, quite a lot”. We asked him where he was going and he said he was going to his parent’s house to pick up the kids after his wife and his night out at the bar. We arrested them both and took them to the county jail for processing. After the breathalyzer, a female jail matron came down to take the woman to that section of the jail. The hubby gets up to go with her and we had to inform him that the honeymoon suite was booked and he’d have to go to a different part of the jail.

17. Arrested an uncooperative midget for DUI.

My dad had to chase a midget down the road after pulling him for a DUI. Had to pick him up and carry him to his cop car…Proceeded to have a bac of .22 and after they stopped laughing, got him booked… Only for his 300+lb wife to come pick him up.