3. You’re booooring
Seriously what’s wrong with you? You take me out on a date, you give me a bouquet of ugly flowers, then you sit down and talk to me like I’m your sister or something, asking me questions about my life and whatnot. All throughout dinner you give me these creepy compliments like “you’re looking pretty today” or “Your hair looks nice today”. And at the end of the night, you’re stupid enough to believe you’re going to get a kiss after you’ve given me a ride home? Seriously? Just no.
And you think sending a text asking me “how are you sweetie :)?” after all this is going to compel me to grant you access to my sugar walls. No thanks Jeffery. You might as well go to the Moon. And stay there. Where is the excitement and thrill boys?
I just wanna have fun. Make my life fun. Be that guy who calls me a bitch and a slut in that playful way. Pin me down on the kitchen table, manhandle me, slap me and give me the good news all night. Don’t ask for permission to kiss me, just do it. (Unless you’re Lack o’ Jaw Jack, then just leave, now.) Get yourself into car chase just for fun, shoplift just for fun, get into fights, do hard drugs and just do reckless stuff, and lots of strong, ferocious women will flock to you. Oh and tattoos, get lots of tattoos without thinking twice.
In a nutshell, don’t be a nut(less) shell. As me and the girls would say, make me tingle, and I’ll let you eat me like a pringle.
