Thought Catalog
February 7, 2017

This Is How You Love Someone Who Constantly Overthinks

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Arkady Lifshits
Arkady Lifshits

When you love someone who constantly overthinks, you are loving someone who’s mind plays tricks on them. You are loving someone who can’t help the way that they think. Who can’t help how much they think.

Someone who over thinks is someone who is always going to have questions. They are someone is always going to be processing one thing at a time, and then constantly be overwhelmed with what if’s and questions marks.

When you love someone who overthinks, you have to be confident in your relationship. And you have to be an over sharer.

You need to be one step ahead of them, never letting their head start to spin with self doubt and self hatred. You need to not just tell them that you are there for them, you need to show up and do it. You need to take action, instead of just putting words into their head.

You need to be compassionate. To understand when they have questions about your past or about last night. To understand when out of nowhere, they are being flooded with fear. To understand when they think everything is terrible, while meanwhile, you think everything is great.

They can’t help how their brain is programmed to process life. They can’t help the thoughts that poke and prod them until they need to explode. They can’t help it.

You need to show them empathy. To show them that you aren’t going to judge them when they ask you if you love them for the hundredth time in a day. To show them that you aren’t going anywhere when they tell you what they are worried about, or what they are fearful about. You need to show them that you will love them, despite how much they repeat and overthink and over worry.

You need to be able to communicate. To not just reply with one word answers or one sentences text messages. You need to be able to always say how you feel when you feel it, instead of hiding it. Over thinkers will try to find meaning in everything that you say and do, so you might as well always tell the truth, even if it’s hard to do.

You need to be able to talk them out of their frenzies. To be able to calmly tell them, ‘no of course that isn’t going to happen’, or ‘I promise they didn’t think you were weird’ or ‘of course my parents adored you’.

Over thinkers tend to over analyze everything, but also over analyze the people that they are with. Be prepared to have an answer for everything. And be prepared to sometimes have hard conversations (just like every other relationship in the world).

Above all, you need to be loving. Loving an over-thinker can be a challenge, but isn’t every relationship a challenge? Be yourself and let them know how much you care about them. An over-thinker can sometimes drive you crazy, but they will stay loyal to you for eternity.

And they will love you, no matter how many weird habits you have or how much baggage that you carry. They will love you for not just putting up with them, but for loving them no matter how many times they drive you absolutely nuts. TC mark

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