November 17, 2016

This Is The Ugly Truth About Breaking Someone’s Heart Who You Still Love

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Grace Chung
Grace Chung

You didn’t mean for it to happen. You didn’t mean for it to end like that. You didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, and to sound so cruel. But you ended things. You did the unthinkable. And you broke the heart of the person that you adore.

The ending starts off so slowly. You don’t notice yourself becoming more distance. More quiet. You don’t notice yourself slowly backing away, and running towards the closed door.

But they notice. They notice the pulling and pushing. They notice the conversations that turn to dust. They notice the hand holding that keeps ending up unclasped and undone. They notice how you keep shrugging of their compliments and how you have suddenly stopped pressing your tired mouth on their begging lips. They notice it all.

I know you can’t explain it. I know you used to love them. You adored them. You really thought they were ‘it’. That they were the one who was going to change everything. And I know you truly thought in the beginning, that there would never be an end. You pictured rings and ‘I dos’. And you thought that when you opened up to the first chapter in the relationship, it would end in a fairytale. And that it would turn out to be the happily ever after that you’ve always dreamed about.

But months and years passed, and their magic started turning cold.

You stopped daydreaming about a future with them. You stopped collecting happiness from their jokes and playful banter. And you stopped loving them, like they loved you.

It’s not their fault. They didn’t do anything wrong. But one day, your heart just stopped beating fast for them. You can’t explain it. You don’t know the reasons why, or the explanations for how.

But you had to end it.

And it’s not because you didn’t love them. It’s not because you didn’t cherish them with your whole being. It’s not because they weren’t beautiful. They just weren’t the kind of magic you needed. And after some time, you learned that in the end, they weren’t what you wanted and needed out of a partner.

They were a precious part of your life. And you know that they probably would’ve loved you until the day you died. But, for reasons that you will never be able to understand, you couldn’t reach their level of love. And you couldn’t imagine saying ‘I do’ to that person. 

You watched them crumble into paper when you said it had to end. You watched them beg for you back. You listened with ashamed ears as they listed every reason why they loved you, and you turned away when all they wanted was an answer.

But the truth is, there is no explanation. There is no logical reason. It just is what love does sometimes. It turns to dust. It turns to rain. And it turns to scars and wounds.

It’s scary to see a flame that had burned so brightly before, get blown out so quickly. It’s scary to see a garden, once so beautiful, suddenly become a drought.

You wish you could explain yourself. You wish you had an answer better than “it’s just not right”.

But, no one can really explain love. Because while it can grow and it can prosper, it can also flicker, and get lost in the wind. With no warning at all. TC mark

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