Of course you’re going to miss the sweet moments of affection. You are going to miss the road trips holding their hand and the constant little arguments that always end up with one another’s clothes on the ground.
You’re going to miss the tender kisses, the ‘I love yous’, and the hugs that could forever. You’re going to miss the way your bed sagged a little whenever they slept next to you. And you’re going to miss their smile when they caught you gazing at them. God, you will miss that. But you’re going to miss something else a lot more.
You’re going to miss your person.
You’re going to miss them being the first person you call when something terrible happens and when something incredible happens. You’re going to miss them being on your emergency contact list, and miss the way your heart skipped a beat when their name appeared on your phone.
You’re going to long for the never ending conversations that you two had at midnight. You’re going to long for the way they held you in your arms when you felt alone. You’re going to long for the moments when you realized you were never alone. Because you had them.
You’re going to miss the way they talked about their family and how you always learned something new about them everyday. You’re going to miss the way they shook your fathers hand and the way they helped your mom out with the dishes. And you’re going to miss the way they always seemed to get along with anyone, no matter who it was.
You’re going to long for those conversations about politics and poetry and popular music. You’re going to long for those conversations about anything and everything, because with them nothing was off the table. You’re going to long for those nights of take out and Netflix, where just being in each other’s presence was enough.
You’re going to want it all back. With your whole heart.
Not so much the sex, the kisses, and the long hugs, but you’re going to want the talks, the comfort, and the peacefulness in knowing that you were always going to have them in your life. And you’re going to want back that feeling of peace in knowing that you were always going to have a best friend like them.
But, that’s the thing about break ups. You won’t get to get that best friend back. You won’t get to have those talks anymore or those phone calls that lit up your world. You won’t get to feel that comfort anymore. At least not with them.
When you break up with them, even after a long time has passed, that spark will always be dimmer. That match will always be a bit broken. That flame will always flicker. And your hearts won’t be able intertwine like they once did, because the hurt and the pain was too much for you both to bear.
The loss is just too heavy.
Because in losing your significant other and in losing your partner, you also lost your best friend. And that kind of loss is just too painful for one human being to endure. At times, that kind of loss is just too damn much to bear. So, yes, at times you are going to long for your boyfriend or girlfriend. But mostly, you’ll just want your best friend back. And you’ll mostly just miss that version of who they were to you.