11. Dangerous_Kitten
A kindergarten teacher I know once had a student who drew a picture of himself and his father hunting deer. His stick figure had a flashlight, and his father had a gun. He had the teacher write at the bottom, “I hold the flashlight while my daddy shoots the deer” for those of you who don’t live in Appalachia, shining a flashlight in a deer’s eyes immobilizes them and is illegal.
image – maveric2003
12. MACHCHICKEN
When my son was 3, he told me he wanted to ride a lesbian. I about pissed myself laughing. For the record he was to say limousine.
13. grizbo
I’m a counselor at a summer camp. One kid was playing in the mud. When we asked him to stop, he stood up, and smeared it on his face, like battle paint. He proceeds to shout, “MY DADDY SAYS IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU LOOK NICE AS LONG AS YOU LOOK LIKE A BADASS.” The kid was seven.
14. homiedcdn
I had a child tell me that his mom and dad both like to play dress up at home. The description of their ‘costumes’ made it quite clear that this was private time dress up.
Made for a few interesting interactions with the parents throughout the year.
15. SingForMeBitches
Also, my little brother is a very articulate and mature little boy. When he was five, his teacher was telling the class about her dog, who she had to put down. A little later the kids were cutting out pictures from magazines for some project, when my brother walked over to the teacher with a picture of a wine glass he had cut out. He handed it to her, saying, “Sorry about your dog.”
image – Gonmi
16. jonnyappleweed
A family friend who teaches kindergarten told us: One kid called another kid an asshole. So the teacher takes her out to the hall and says “We heard you call someone a bad word. Now what did you say?” The kid says, “Was it really bad?” The teacher: “Yes, very bad.” The kid: “Well, it must have been motherfucker.”
