5. AbigailNormal
My friend was teaching an improv class to first graders at camp and asked them to name some “every day activities.” First two examples: “Getting divorced!” and “Resuscitating someone after drowning!”
6. DrownEmTide
From my wife’s Pre-K class: “That’s daddy’s new girlfriend. Mommy says she’s a slug.”
image – Elsie esq.
7. anothermoron
One time in fourth grade a couple police officers come into the classroom to teach the kids about drugs as part of the D.A.R.E. program. For some reason, they brought in a bunch of drug paraphernalia to show kids what kind of things to avoid. An officer held up a piece and goes, “This here is a crack pipe.” Then one of the kids shouted out, “Hey, my dad has one of those!”
Thinking he was making a mistake, one of the students said, “Ryan, do you want your dad to get in trouble!?”
“…Kinda.”
8. Platypus_Delta
Reading a book to a kid (3 1/2) when he stops me to tell me, “Mommy doesn’t like hair on her vagina so she cuts it.” We didn’t finish the book.
9. Snow-White
I was reading this great book about trains to a preschool group, and a little girl raised her hand and announced proudly to the class that “Mommy is picking me up today because Daddy is a beatdead now!” Her parent were separated and I’m assuming she meant “deadbeat.” I had to hide my face with the book and cough for a minute or so. It was only funny because she was such a cheery kid, and she said it so proudly! Yay! A beatdead!
10. Not_Pictured
Our 2nd grade teacher had her class say something about their family. One of the little boys described the details of his parents swinging lifestyle with another family in the town who had a few kids of their own. (He was blissfully ignorant of exactly what he was describing.)
Apparently out of the 5 kids total between the families (3 / 2 split) no one is really sure who is who’s father. So they all are the other family’s “half brothers and sisters.”
After revealing all of this to the class his ‘half-sister’ who is in the same class says, “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone!”
