23. Walts_brother
Two quotes from my wife’s daycare:
“My daddy has a HUGE penis!”
“My mommy is picking me up because my daddy is in jail!”
image – C.P.Storm
24. valhallaswyrdo
My wife teaches second grade here are a few from her:
One kid couldn’t take a shower one morning because his parents were in there.
Another kid said her parents were “racing” in their bed.
image – Flickr / thotfulspot
25. puscatcomehere
I said, “Trust me, I’m a doctor,” to a kid. All eyes turned to me and he asked, “Are you really a doctor?”
“No, it’s just a saying,” Then one boy, without looking up from his work says, “My daddy pretended to be a doctor…he got in trouble.”
26. hownicetomeetyou
We were talking about the difference between men and women, men have penises and women don’t. One boy goes, “My mum has a penis, too,” and we are going, “Oh no sweetie, she doesn’t,” but he insists and it starts becoming uncomfortable. After a while he says, “My mum HAS a penis, only it is not attached to her body, she keeps it in the drawer by the bed.” Kids-logic is so precious.
27. [deleted]
“My mommy is 41. My Daddy used to be 43, but then he had an operation to become younger, so I don’t know how old he is anymore…..”
I had to leave the room because I was laughing so much.
The parents were divorced, the father had just gotten a new 25-year-old girlfriend and had (bad) plastic surgery…
28. MachineryofTorture
When I was very young, about four, a woman cut the queue after my mother and I had been waiting for a good bit of time (it was a doctor’s office, so the queue was pretty long). Having been raised with manners, I tapped the lady on the back and said we were meant to be in front of her because we were waiting. She got snotty with my mother and I got annoyed, telling her that my mother was a smart lady. When she asked how she was so smart, I proudly exclaimed, ‘She can take her teeth out to brush them!’
Nobody talks shit about my momma, not now, not then.
Another time, a neighbour was cutting our hedges with my father, to return a favour, and I was around four or so again. I came in and told him that he ‘made a bollocks of them, Daddy said so.’
My parents are so proud of me.
