1. Those worries keeping you up at night—the ones where you picture yourself jobless and loveless at 25—they’re normal.
2. Talent alone won’t pay your bills, bb—working your ass off is a prerequisite for success.
3. Nope, no one will actually give a damn about your GPA after graduation.
4. And no one will care about where you went to school, either (except maybe fellow alumni).
5. Being creatively/emotionally fulfilled is wonderful, but don’t neglect the importance of making decent money.
6. You are a stupidly capable human being when you get out of your own way.
7. Your dreams will not come to fruition by witchcraft—you’re gonna have to sweat for them after all.
8. Stop chasing what you want to be, and start chasing what you want to do.
9. He—the fuckboy, whoever he is—will soon be a blip in your distant memory.
10. Don’t worry about figuring everything out, because no one ever does.
11. You’re probably gaining weight from alcohol, babe—not dining hall fro-yo.
12. Just because everyone and their mother is taking Psych 101, doesn’t mean you have to.
13. Set a birth control alarm, and take that shit every day, even if you’re at lunch with your grandma.
14. If you have no idea what you really want to do, DEFINITELY don’t blow $200K you don’t have on law school.
15. Find your truest look—something is wrong if wardrobe hasn’t changed since senior year of high school.
16. If a guy makes you feel like you constantly need to work for his attention, move on.
17. No one will care who the captain of the football team was after you graduate—no one.
18. 100% of people spend the years from 18 to 24 stressed the fuck out because they don’t have a clue how to be an adult—you are not alone.
19. Call your parents more often.
20. And try to better understand their less popular choices—raising you is NOT an easy job.
21. Your major doesn’t have to dictate squat about your professional future (yas, babe, you can 100% work on Wall Street with a degree in art history).
22. It is perfectly OK to graduate without ever finding a college boyfriend, or without falling in love—all that will come, trust.
23. Forging strong connections, and gaining experience—that’s what it’s all about, babe.
24. Yes, paying rent is shitty, but it’s doable.
25. No, you can’t be on your family’s phone plan and call yourself an adult.
26. Get a job on campus—it’s easy work, and you can always use the money.
27. There is nothing sexier than a woman who don’t need no mans.
28. It’s great to lean on your friends for guidance, but don’t lose sight of the fact that you know yourself better than anybody else.
29. You are always allowed to change your mind.
30. Speaking up for yourself and for what you believe in is rarely easy, but it’s always worth it.
31. At least 20% of college women are the victims of sexual assault—educate yourself, and if a guy is ever making you feel uncomfortable, make your exit.
32. Discover and BUILD your brand, boo—it’s a lifestyle.
33. Wearing too much makeup makes you look ridiculous, not more mature.
34. …And it’s bad for your skin, which will eventually make you look older (in a bad way).
35. It’s OK to cut toxic people out of your life (you know who they are).
36. Nobody likes a social climber.
37. Take an art class before you graduate, even if you consider yourself artistically deprived. Flexing your creative muscles is always an enlightening exercise, if you commit to it.
38. No matter how great *he* is, don’t let him take you away from your friends—they were here before he came, and they’ll be here after he’s gone.
39. YOU ARE GORGEOUS AND BRILLIANT—CELEBRATE!
40. Trust your gut—you’re way more perceptive than you give yourself credit.
41. Not everything will work out how you want it to, and that’s really OK.
42. Don’t settle for your second choice just because it seems safer.
43. Soon, your options for sexual partners won’t have reputations to precede them, and you’ll be winging it in a big way, so go HAM on hookups while it’s safe(r).
44. But never, ever yield to pressure from a guy to ditch the condom.
45. Getting fit >>>>>> being skinny.
46. Your window to consume unreasonable amounts of cheap liquor without needing to receive your nutrients through an IV the next day will be alarmingly small.
47. You have as many hours in a day as Beyoncé, Oprah, and Tina Fey.
48. There’s no right or wrong way to grow up.
49. Going to college is a privilege many people aren’t granted, so count your blessings, and take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.
50. This too shall pass.