I’m On Ambien

he is a ‘long struggling poet’ with ‘extreme reverance for art’ and is thus pretty socially isolated and critical towards me in sort of obvious ways
23 Signs You’re A Premature Old Person

You still don’t understand how LMFAO or Skrillex qualify as music. It just sounds like dying.
Women, Books, And Orgasms

Photographers chase after elusive moments of spontaneous authenticity wherein a person reveals their hidden self in a way previously unseen. They yearn to capture life as it is lived and experienced without a thought of pose or presentation.
26 Signs You Should’ve Been Born In A Different Time Period

8. You’re more comfortable at a Renaissance fair full of fake knights than a nightclub full of fake Renaissance men.
Your Lifestyle Has Already Been Designed

I’ve only been back at work for a few days, but already I’m noticing that the more wholesome activities are quickly dropping out of my life: walking, exercising, reading, meditating, and extra writing.
Some Advice To Men Who Are Going Bald

Words are thoughts, and thoughts shape emotions. If you tell yourself you’re a bald ugly loser with a speckled egglike head, you’ll be right. If you tell yourself you’re a shiny baldheaded badass with an aerodynamic dome, you’ll be right, too.
Kind Of, Sort Of Dating, Maybe?

Are we supposed to be dating? Or are we more like good friends? Special buddies? No, not special buddies, that just sounds awkward. Hmm, maybe this is just about hooking up mostly. So like, are we one of those whatever with benefits type deals?
11 Things Today’s Kids Will Have To Explain To Their Children
10 Lasting Effects Of Growing Up In The 90s

Unsolved Mysteries is the reason why I watch my garage door go all the way down – because if I don’t, a killer will most definitely slide under at the last second.
When You Need To Just Have Sex With Someone, Already

If you interact in any way on Tumblr, you obviously need to have sex. But then again everyone on Tumblr just needs to have sex with each other. Just a massive internet orgy of political correctness and hipbones and love.
11 Ways Childhood Has Changed Since The 90s

Now, Sketchers as we knew them are a thing of the past. Instead, toddlers can get their Diane Von Furstenberg fix at Gap, and grow out of it two weeks later. Oscar de la Renta designs for children. A baby walked in a Chanel runway show. I can’t even afford Chanel lipstick.
20 Ways To Improve Graduation Ceremonies

Instead of only recognizing the awards, scholarships, and honors bestowed upon graduates by professors, let’s include some student-voted awards, like “Most Undistinguished Track Record of Questionable Hookups” and “Outstanding Achievement in the field of Day Drinking.”
What To Do When An Indian Answers Your Tech Support Call

It’s weird — even foreign people who work their asses off 12-14 hours a day to help support their families (and extended families) expect some modicum of respect and decency from the Americans who call them for assistance.
Understanding The Strange Dating Habits Of Twentysomethings

A new kind of relationship seems to have sprung from online dating and technology, which is The Two Week Relationship. It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks to a month and then decide to drop off the face of the planet.
6 Things You Can Do While Waiting For Someone To Text You Back

Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer telling you to go to some seedy location, you’ll be kept on pins and needles until your phone vibrates and makes that luscious beautiful sound that indicates that you have a new message.
5 Reasons I Hate Cell Phones (And You Should Too)

Sometimes it’s a “WhereeEeee areejeee youuyuuu?” text that I accidentally sent her because she appears as a contact right below my best friend. Other times, I hit her with a “I love, love, love you Grandma!” intentional text that I send in a moment of wasted clarity, which allows me to value loved and aging family members.
The Pros and Cons of Deleting Your Facebook

Facebook has no influence on the relationships that actually matter to me. It’s the people on the periphery who get to stick around past their expiration date. If I deleted it, those are the kinds of people who would become casualties.