Luck of the Irish (2003)
You valued family above all else, and had a picture of Ryan Merriman hanging up in your bedroom, right above your bed. You’d practice your Irish accent at him as you fell asleep every night, and convinced yourself that was totally normal behavior and would all pay off when could recite perfect Celtic at the wedding.
When you found out Henry Gibson – aka the man who played beloved, super-Irish Irish grandpa, Reilly O’Reilly – passed away in 2009, you wore black for a week.
Stepsister From Planet Weird (2000)
You came from a recently blended family and, like, totally and fully related to the girl who had an annoying stepsister all up in her room, drinking too much soda and being a creepy alien all the time. But the reality of it was: you were sitting alone in the house on a Friday night, mainlining Dr. Pepper, watching the Disney Channel. You were the loser stepsister. You were from planet weird.
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century (1999)
You were hard to look at sometimes, because you never left the house in at least three clashing shades of neon, uneven pigtails, and were probably yelling. Your quirkiness would later go on to be diagnosable: ADHD.
Smart House (1999)
You were a total slob, so watching Pat soak up soda spills through the carpet like magic was mostly just massive wish fulfillment for you. Ten years later, your apartment is still a mess, but you’re patiently waiting for technology to catch up to your needs. Until then, you’ll have to content yourself with learning boy band dance moves off of YouTube, instead of projected against your bedroom wall.
The Thirteenth Year (1999)
Every school notebook you had from the ages of nine to fifteen was covered in layers and layers of detailed mermaid doodles. You violently wept until your parents agreed to get you a pool for your birthday – and were forced to grudgingly make the best out of it when they could only afford a plastic kiddy-style set up. You flopped around in it every day in your homemade mermaid tail—a green towel.
Whenever you go to a beach, even now, a small part of you is still hoping your real mother will pop out of the waves and welcome you back to your rightful throne in an undersea kingdom.
The Color of Friendship (2000)
You run a social justice Tumblr and screech the word, “MICROAGGRESSION” a lot.
High School Musical (2006)
You joined drama club as a direct result of this movie and were sorely disappointed when you realized that it was full of mouth-breathers and probably-gay-guys.
Johnny Tsumani (1999)
You were one of two things: a dudebro who totally loved surfing and/or snowboarding, man, or a chubby nerd from a temperate suburb who desperately wished he was. Either way, you’re currently at a state school, in a frat, and live your life almost entirely in pursuit of casually scoring a nickname as cool as, “Johnny Tsunami.”