Sweet girl, you deserve to feel special, not just when he first starts talking to you, not when you’re just an idea, a fictional girl he’s created in his mind, full of hope and potential. Not just when you’re new and exciting, not just when he can’t stop imagining the way you feel or the way you taste,
You deserve to feel special even on days when he is busy; you deserve to feel as if you are still on his mind, even when his thoughts are crowded with a thousand other things. You deserve to feel as if you still matter, as if you won’t get lost somewhere between mundane musings about work or which team is playing tonight. You deserve to feel as if he would rather be speaking to you, spending time with you or just learning about your day, above anything else.
You deserve to feel special on every date you go on together, whether it’s your first or your hundredth; you deserve to feel as if he has put real thought and effort into your evening. You deserve to feel as if he has considered who you are — your likes, the things which make you smile or engage your mind, the same way you would if it you were in charge of planning. You deserve to be the only person who exists for him when you see each other; you deserve to feel more important than his phone, than social media, than the group chats which go off every minute. You deserve to feel as if he would shut off the entire universe just to be present with you.
You deserve a collection of magical moments; you deserve conversation which takes you to faraway places, which helps you learn the intricate webs of each other’s minds, which explores dreams and the things that keep you up at night. You deserve the kind of laughter that rumbles out of your stomach, the kind that makes your eyes weep and your entire body dance. You deserve those bolts of electricity that course through your veins when he touches your skin; you deserve kisses which make you forget who you are and which city you’re in, the kind which make your head spin and leave your lips craving more.
You deserve to feel like there’s always more he wants to know about you. Like no amount of time with you will ever be enough for him. You deserve to feel that if he got to choose, he would always choose to be with you, even if it’s for a few stolen moments before the sun slips away; you deserve to feel like this to him, like those moments matter to him more than anything else. You deserve to feel worthy of train rides and cab fares if it means he gets to feel your skin against his.
You deserve so much more than being left on read, than waiting weeks for them to finally ask to see you. You deserve more than feeling as if it’s always you chasing them, like they have suddenly gotten bored of you and moved on to someone new. You deserve more than feeling as if they aren’t sure about you; you deserve more than feeling confused about where you exist in their heart, if you even exist at all.
Sweet girl, you deserve to feel special. You deserve to let yourself believe that you are worthy. You deserve to wait until someone shows up who makes you feel like a priority. You deserve more than giving your heart to the first person who tries to convince you they’re capable of showing you just how magical you are, only to fall short. You deserve to feel special every moment of every day, and you deserve that kind of love for the rest of your life, not just when it suits them.
Because if they can’t do that, if they can’t make you feel like you are the answer to every question, like you hold the secrets to the universe, like you are a miracle simply by existing, then they aren’t worth your time anyway.