Ranking The Zodiac Signs By Who Gets The Most Drunk At Their Family Holiday Dinner

Ranked from absolutely hammered to just a little tipsy.
girl in gold jacket drinking champagne


You’ve got some strong opinions, and you’re going to drink until you’re slurring so much that your family can’t understand them. You don’t want to remember what your uncle’s thoughts are on the latest breaking news, and you drink an entire bottle of wine to make sure you don’t. You get wasted because you’re far too passionate about all the conversation topics that are bound to come up. You’ll either get drunk enough to not care, or get drunk enough to say something stupid and use your state of drunkenness as a legitimate excuse.


You’re usually super composed and very responsible, but the holidays are a time that stress you out. When that family holiday dinner finally rolls around you drink the stress away. The first thing you do when you arrive is have a glass of wine or crack a beer, and when your mom makes her homemade sangria you rummage through her freezer to add more vodka.


You’re as adventurous around the holidays as you are any other time of the year. You want to have fun at your family holiday dinner, and no awkward conversations about politics or religion will stop you. You’re going to take tequila shots with your Aunt Margaret and pop bottles with Grandpa Joe, and you’re going to have a blast while doing it.


You like to have fun and be the life of the party, so when the holidays roll around you’re the person who tells everyone who’s talking about politics to shut up and shotgun a beer with you. You’re the boss and if you hear one word about anything that will cause an argument, you shove booze in their face, and yours.


The holidays are probably the only time you return to your hometown, and you kind of dread it every year. It’s not your family that fills you with dread, it’s returning to the place that you clearly outgrew a long time ago. You feel like every year you change so much and every year your family stays the same. Everyone wants to hear about your latest adventures and all of the exciting things going on in your life, and you honestly don’t really feel like talking to them about it. You drink more wine to deal with it.


Every year you’re either REALLY excited for your family’s holiday dinner, or you’re TOTALLY dreading it, there’s never an in-between. When you’re REALLY excited about it, you drink. When you’re totally dreading it, you drink. Either way, you drink.


You want to drink your inhibitions away at your family holiday dinner. You’re probably a little self-conscious of your current life situation and don’t want to feel judged by your entire family. Cue the vodka. You spend the majority of your family dinner closest to the drinks table.


You like to fade into the background at your family holiday dinner. You let the rest of your family have heated discussions while you relax on the couch with a glass of wine and watch It’s A Wonderful Life.


You probably bought a new dress or sweater to wear to your family holiday dinner, and if you get too drunk, you’ll probably spill something on it. You also want to look good in family photos, and if you’re too plastered, you won’t. You’ll indulge in some wine, but you’re not about to shot gun a beer with your 21 year-old cousin.


You’re a bundle of love around the holidays. You don’t need to drink too much to enjoy yourself. You’re happy that everyone can be together, and you think of your family holiday dinner as a time to be grateful for the ones you love.


You look forward to this all year. You can’t wait to go back home and have your Mom’s famous honey glazed ham, and listen to stories about your parents when they first fell in love. You love family and around the holidays everyone is in a good mood. You don’t get drunk to tolerate the occasion, you just genuinely enjoy yourself and have a good time.


If you get too drunk, who will keep the peace? You’re the moderator at your family holiday dinner and you watch your drinking so that you can break up the shouting match between the in-laws. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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