This Is Why We Push The Ones We Love Away

girl with blue eyes hiding
God & Man

We push the ones we love away because we’re scared. We’re scared that our feelings are too big of an investment, love is too big of an investment. We’re afraid of putting more in than we get out, we’re afraid of giving everything, and ending up with nothing. But that’s what happens when you think you’ve found love, you take that risk. Sometimes it works in your favor. Sometimes you end up in your own happily ever after. Sometimes you don’t.

We push the ones we love away because we don’t know what we want. We convince ourselves that we want what everyone else wants for us. We like to want the things that make sense, the things that follow logical timelines and hit sensible benchmarks. We want to be responsible and put-together. We want our parents to talk about us and say we’re doing well. We want to talk to our friends and be able to sound like we know where we’re going. But we won’t always have a sense of direction, we won’t always know which way to go, and we can’t let anyone else choose that for us. Figuring it out doesn’t have to feel so lonely. We have each other. We don’t have to push the ones we love away because of life’s uncertainties. If one thing is certain, it’s the love between us.

We push the ones we love away because we think we don’t deserve them. We wonder if they want more, if they deserve more. They’re too wonderful to settle. They’re too wonderful in every way, and we wonder ‘why would someone like them ever want to share a life with someone like me?‘ We push the ones we love away because we’re scared we’re not good enough. Will we make them happy? Can we make them happy? Will this life, a life together, make them happy? And if not, then what? What happens when the person you love isn’t their best when they’re with you? What happens when you think they’d be a better person without you?

We push the ones we love away because we’re terrified that our love isn’t enough to keep us together, and sometimes it’s not. Not all love is forever, but that doesn’t mean it was never real. Real love can be temporary. It can happen in a whirlwind that feels like the greatest chaos you’ve ever experienced. It can happen like a dream, what felt like hours, was only really seconds. It can come into your life as quickly as it leaves.

And love never feels as good when it’s leaving, so let’s not push the ones we love away. Let’s not make them leave if they don’t want to. Let’s allow them to stay. Let’s allow love to grow. Let’s let this love just be, let’s stop pushing. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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