50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

41. The village called. They’d like their idiot back. You better get going.

42. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

43. Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.

44. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you’ve already got one.

45. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

46. People like you are the reason I’m on medication.

47. I believed in evolution until I met you.

48. If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?

49. You’ll never be the man your mom is.

50. Earth is full. Go home. TC mark

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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  • http://michaeldgriffiths.wordpress.com Michael D. Griffiths

    Those are freaking awesome I wish I could carry them around with me

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    dang!!! It takes a total badass to carry out these remarks flawlessly!

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