50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

41. The village called. They’d like their idiot back. You better get going.

42. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

43. Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.

44. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you’ve already got one.

45. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

46. People like you are the reason I’m on medication.

47. I believed in evolution until I met you.

48. If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?

49. You’ll never be the man your mom is.

50. Earth is full. Go home. TC mark

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

Bring magic to your Instagram feed ✨

You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

Bring beauty to your feed

One story, told five ways…

Advertisement

Meet the students of Five Points High School. You probably already know them—or at least you think you do.

Five Points is an unflinching look at the other versions of the same reality.
Catch Five Points, a new series only on Facebook Watch.

Watch Our Favorite New Show
  • https://reezythekidblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/23/50-hilarious-comebacks-that-will-shut-everyone-up-and-make-you-look-like-a-genius/ 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) – rEEzy the KiD

    […] Source: 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) […]

  • http://michaeldgriffiths.wordpress.com Michael D. Griffiths

    Those are freaking awesome I wish I could carry them around with me

  • https://brenicojayblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/23/50-hilarious-comebacks-that-will-shut-everyone-up-and-make-you-look-like-a-genius/ 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) – Lifestyle Writing
  • http://sheehanbelleca.wordpress.com tiffany

    dang!!! It takes a total badass to carry out these remarks flawlessly!

  • https://jeunspokenthoughts.wordpress.com/2016/02/24/50-hilarious-comebacks-that-will-shut-everyone-up-and-make-you-look-like-a-genius/ 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) – jeunspokenthoughts
  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/caithlin-pena/2016/02/this-is-how-you-lie-according-to-your-zodiac-sign/ This Is How You Lie According To Your Zodiac Sign | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: The Best Sex Position For You — Based On Your Zodiac Sign Read this: The Unedited Truth About Why You Suck, Based On Your Zodiac Sign Read this: Are Your Astrology Signs Sexually Compatible? Read this: 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) […]

  • https://psych.interez.sk/30-sarkastickych-vyrokov/ 30 sarkastických a vtipných výrokov, ktorými okamžite umlčíte aj tých najdrzejších a najarogantnejších ľudí

    […] thoughtcatalog […]

  • https://odzadu.startitup.sk/30-sarkastickych-vtipnych-vyrokov-ktorymi-okamzite-umlcite-aj-tych-najdrzejsich-najarogantnejsich-ludi/ 30 sarkastických a vtipných výrokov, ktorými okamžite umlčíte aj tých najdrzejších a najarogantnejších ľudí

    […] zdroj: thoughtcatalog.com […]

  • https://conskotsh.wordpress.com/2017/06/28/roasted/ Roasted! – conskotsh

    […] been roasted u heated up internally? U felt that sizzle of heat on your cheeks and concluded that those […]

  • https://www.learning-mind.com/clever-comebacks/ 6 Clever Comebacks Smart People Say to Arrogant and Rude People – Learning Mind
blog comments powered by Disqus

More From Thought Catalog