1. A delicious meal can make up for a semi-palatable date. If the conversation is lacking, or you prematurely reveal yourself to be psychotic, it might be to stop talking and let the meal speak for itself.
2. If you’re one of those people who “doesn’t really have a sweet tooth” then this relationship probably isn’t going anywhere.
3. There’s nothing better than someone who really enjoys her cooking. And there’s nothing more frustrating than someone adding salt, pepper or hot sauce to the dish BEFORE YOU EVEN TRY IT.
4. She likes to discuss the food she’s eating. You will be expected to take part in the discussion. If you’re asked which dish you liked best, or if you liked her use of yogurt in the sauce and you don’t have an answer, that doesn’t bode well.
5. If you want to have the best sex of your life, make your house smell like really good food. At the very least, pull a Clueless, put Tollhouse cookie dough in the oven and 20 minutes later, your house will smell magical. It’s the aromatic equivalent of an Al Green record.
6. Be willing to help out, but know when to get the hell out of the kitchen. Even you want to avoid conflict and/or third degree burns, stay far away from the pans unless otherwise instructed.
7. She’s a food snob, but that doesn’t mean she’s unwilling to brake for Taco Bell.
8. She will start to remember your relationship milestones based on where you went to eat, what you ordered or some incredibly specific detail about the dessert.
9. She will wake up one day and insist that her life is incomplete because she doesn’t know how to make some specific sauce (hollandaise, béchamel, what have you). She will become O B S E S S E D. Be supportive and start looking up recipes, would you?
10. She wants to hear your travel stories, as long as they’re 90% about what you ate. She doesn’t only want to hear about fine dining, she’s interested in the best street food and how exactly food fits into different cultures. Bring back photos and samples.
11. Kitchen tools, aprons with varying levels of corniness, booze or novelty foods will ALWAYS make great gifts for her.
12. She loves to hear you say those 3 little words: “I made reservations.” Hot. She might know too much about the restaurants in her town, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see you make the plans every once in a while. She’s more than willing to accommodate your preferences. Sometimes.
13. Some people need you to quiet down while their show or the game is on. Similarly, she needs you to shut up so she can taste her food.
14. If you want to be a hero, randomly bring over one of the following: wine, cheese, good bread or ice cream.
15. When you plan your first trip together, the first thing she will do is spend hours reviewing which restaurants she wants to eat at. There will be lists, extensive research and maybe a rating system. It’s a science.
16. You will get many emails over the course of your relationship that have, “brunch places,” “best pizza” or “soup recipes we absolutely have to try” in the subject line.
17. Speaking of brunch, it is vital that you take the pursuit for the best bloody Mary in town seriously. This is not child’s play. This is the real deal. Get your head in the game.
18. If she’s spacing out while listening to you talk about something boring it’s because she’s planning her next meal. Don’t take it personally.
19. Do not ever be shocked when she declares she is SO SO FULL and then has room for ice cream half an hour later.
20. Some girls dream of their perfect wedding dress. She really hasn’t thought about it, but she knows exactly what she wants to eat at her wedding.
21. Always bring dessert instead of flowers.