Lorenzo Jensen III

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”
—Marilyn Monroe

1. You can’t blame gravity for falling in love. —Albert Einstein 2. The higher you build walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone tears them down. —Unknown 3.

“He started believing he was a vampire. I began seeing him as having a not having a terribly strong grip on reality.”

“The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.”

“She sent me a video of herself in underwear. Waved at the camera, took a blade to her wrist, wiped the blood into her fingers and waved goodbye.”

“One key difference: BOOBS.”

“People who think nothing is ever their fault.”

“You can be your normal dorky and weird self around her and she still likes you. That’s super cool.”

“She lets me watch cartoons, and she hates cartoons.”

“That I’m not actually divorced.”

“Everyone who ever loved you was wrong.”

“He would frequently bite his tongue and spit HIV-positive blood into their faces/mouths.”

“It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.” —Bill Lee

12. I love a girl that blushes.

4. Green eyes.

1. The way their back muscles move when they reach to grab something.

“When I realized that my best friend didn’t consider me hers.”

Found on AskReddit. 1. Touch the guards. You can mess around in front of them and they’ll ignore you, but touch them and prepare for a world of hurt. 2.