1. Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of fucking her coworker on my couch.
“Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of fucking her coworker on my couch. I loved that couch.”
2. It came to light that she had been talking to my soon-to-be best man and they ‘fell in love.’
“Dated for six years and finally proposed. It came to light that she had been talking to my soon-to-be best man and they ‘fell in love.’ Losing two of the closest people in your life on the same day fuckin sucks but it’s not so bad now.”
3. She got gang-banged by four dudes including her 60-something manager (she was sober during the gang bang), no protection, they all finished inside her/her mouth.
“Dated for 5 years, engaged for 1.5. I’m not a jealous man, she had a lot of male friends at work. Well, come Xmas office party time she said only employees were invited and I believed her. She came home pretty drunk at about 4, cuddled with me and told me she loved me. A buddy (who is the husband of a girl who also worked there) asked me a few days later why I hadn’t attended, turns out she was lying about it being an employee only thing. Buddy and his wife asked around to see what had happened (they left before the party got wild). Turns out ex fiancée started hooking up with one guy, then another walked in, joined, then, two more. She got gang-banged by four dudes including her 60-something manager (she was sober during the gang bang), no protection, they all finished inside her/her mouth, she came home, no shower, and got into bed with me including kisses. She denied it until buddy got pictures from someone who was there. It was shitty.”
4. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides.
“She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that.”
5. She cheated and eventually chose him instead.
“She cheated and eventually chose him instead. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Went back to school, got a career, and met a wonderful person to spend my life with.”
6. I came home early from my second job to surprise her and see if we can work things out and found her in bed with the guy who would have been my best man.
“Got engaged to my pregnant girlfriend. Four months before the wedding, she calls it off saying she doesn’t feel the love anymore. A week after that, I came home early from my second job to surprise her and see if we can work things out and found her in bed with the guy who would have been my best man. Turns out they’ve been shacking up for 6 months and she planned to leave me for him as soon as he broke things off with his wife (who was to be her maid of honor). I decided to speed up the process by telling his wife what I found and instead of leaving her, the guy ditches my fiancée to try to salvage his marriage.”
7. She told me that I needed to choose between her and my family.
“My ex-fiancé and I kept disagreeing about stuff for the wedding. She comes from a wealthy family and I didn’t have the money to have the type of wedding she wanted. My family offered to help out on some things and she agreed to give a little ground. I found out a week later that she and her mom had completely changed everything without telling me. Most of these changes I couldn’t afford. When I confronted her about it, she asked me where I had heard that. I told her my sister had told me. She told me that I needed to choose between her and my family. It didn’t take me but a few seconds to tell her that she could get all her shit put the house as soon as possible.”
8. When I got home she had taken my son and all his things, and moved all of her belongings out of the house.
“Was with my s/o for 3 years before we got engaged. While we were engaged, we had our son (unplanned) and it pushed back plans for the wedding because of money troubles.
Her father then was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she started to withdraw from me after finding out the news. I tried to be supportive and help her through it, but we started arguing about small things constantly. Mole hills started to become mountains and we started to fall apart.
Not long after our four-year anniversary she got the news her father had passed away. On Valentine’s Day, no less.
In our 5th year of being together and after a fairly large argument, I left work and grabbed a bottle of wine with flowers to try to signify a ‘new beginning’ for us, but when I got home she had taken my son and all his things, and moved all of her belongings out of the house. She had left the engagement ring on the bed for me to find.
I never did get an explanation, only that she didn’t feel love between us anymore. I never felt that way, but perhaps I missed something that she was trying to tell me… Who knows.
Now I see my son 3-4 days a week, have a friendly relationship with my ex, and have moved on as best I can.
I still love her, a part of me always will, but I’m fairly certain we will never reconnect as much as I would love to try again. Sometimes you just have to accept what happened and push on.”
9. During her finals, she goes and sees this wealthy powerful politician from Europe give a speech. He kind of hits on her and says his son is looking for an American wife.
“We went to the same college and started dating early freshman year, but it turns out she was HS senior. So my second year she went away to a very prestigious all-girls’ school on the east coast. Almost immediately she starts in about marriage and me dropping out and living near her. I stall on this since she is 18 without much relationship experience (I was 20 and had had several ~year long relationships at that point). But she sticks on it, so we get engaged right before finals when I went to visit. She is sooooo happy.
During her finals, she goes and sees this wealthy powerful politician from Europe give a speech. He kind of hits on her and says his son is looking for an American wife. She says she is engaged, but agrees to have lunch with the son (after checking with me) so she can play matchmaker for her friends.
A few days later she suddenly goes from being super clingy and calling me several times a day to being hard to get ahold of.
On my birthday, she doesn’t call and I figure my worst fears are true. We talk towards the end of the day, and she has been flown to the Caribbean one weekend, and back to a formal ball in Europe, et cetera.
I truly believe she was 100% in love with me just a few weeks before. Part of me doesn’t blame her and part of me thinks that she is a selfish snake.
Anyway, they got married, he was on horseback with a sword and everything.
I had some fun in the meantime and met a much better woman 7 years later (we have now been married for 8 years). I think in the end it was for the best for everyone, though it has reinforced my already paranoid fear of people leaving me.”
10. She cheated on me with a double-digit amount of guys, and girls apparently. She had an orgy with minors and fucked her own cousin, just to name a few people.
“She cheated on me with a double-digit amount of guys, and girls apparently. She had an orgy with minors and fucked her own cousin, just to name a few people. The red flags weren’t there and I found out only because her family ratted her out. She took weeks to fess up but later admitted to everything in detail.”
11. She had to know where I was every moment of the day. As far as she was concerned, my sole reason for existence was to do whatever she wanted.
“She was controlling, manipulative, and abusive. She was like this before we got engaged, but since it was my first relationship, I didn’t know any better. She got worse after the engagement. I wasn’t allowed to have any friends or access the internet. I couldn’t watch TV, go to movies, or read any books without her permission first. She had to know where I was every moment of the day. As far as she was concerned, my sole reason for existence was to do whatever she wanted.
One day, I got fed up with something she wanted me to do and told her no. She said that she couldn’t marry me if I wasn’t willing to do what she asked. She broke off the engagement a few days later.
A few months later, she called me to try to get back together with me. She didn’t think that the breakup would be permanent. She just thought that I would be so unhappy without her that I would go crawling back to her. We had broken up a couple of times before our engagement, and this was apparently her strategy those times as well. By this time, I recognized this as the manipulative tactic is was, so I refused to get back together with her. Looking back on it, I would have been miserable with her, so it was the best decision I could have made.”
12. I started questioning relationship and cult beliefs, acknowledged buried emotions, broke up with her, dropped cult beliefs, she told me to ‘burn in hell.’
“Joined a cult, met her, developed feelings, she dated cult leader, left cult, maintained cult beliefs, they broke up, she talked to me, confessed feelings, she jumped on board, dated for a few months, proposed, she got arrested next day, paid her bond, stayed together a few more months, she blew up in front of family, family voiced disapproval and concern, started questioning relationship and cult beliefs, acknowledged buried emotions, broke up with her, dropped cult beliefs, she told me to ‘burn in hell.’ It was a fun time.”
13. She had an abortion without my knowledge. She got so frustrated it came to the point where she came out with, ‘Well FU I killed your kid.’.
“I found out during a fight that she had an abortion while we were together. It was one of those petty arguments that people in their 20s get into. I wanted to take her out to dinner and dancing one night, and she wanted to stay home on the couch. She kept trying to rip me down, but every time she did I kinda clowned her back. She got so frustrated it came to the point where she came out with ‘Well FU I killed your kid.’ It totally caught me off-guard and when I asked what she was talking about, she said that she had an abortion and didn’t tell me. So I stopped fighting with her and just started packing some stuff up. So, at this point she’s really mad that I don’t want to fight any more. And when I told her that she won and nothing I could say would be so shitty. So of course then the crying starts and she’s sorry, etc. I told her I wasn’t even mad about the abortion. People go through things. If the time wasn’t right, it wasn’t right. If she would have told me I would have drove her there and paid for it. I just wasn’t going to spend my life with someone that would pull something like that out. Just to win a fight over me wanting to take her out on a date.”
14. She told me to my face, as her fiancé, that she loved another, yet wanted to marry me.
“tl;dr she was unfaithful. eventually it broke me. Six months later she died.
We had been dating for a year. It had ups and downs. The good times were the best I had. The bad times were breaking. Still, it was the most connected I’ve ever felt with any partner.
There had been red flags but I remained hopeful, from promises and signs of change. I recreated our first date on our 1y anniversary. We had the same restaurant, same table. I made sure the same waitress would be there. I wore the same clothes. After dinner we went home and I proposed with a custom magic deck. She said yes.
Infidelities uncovered and likely more I didn’t know haunts the next year. Each time finding truth was like pulling teeth. Reluctant half-confessions in the face of evidence.
Then came the custody battle for my daughter. In court, with GAL, and to the outside world, we appeared as the perfect, loving couple. To be completely honest I don’t doubt her love, as much as she was able, and mine never wavered, even in years since. In private though she continued to cheat on me, repeatedly, and lied about it, more half-confessions, and later blaming me for her infidelity.
Our wedding date was pushed back with each violation of trust. For a couple months I even called it off. Still we were engaged again because I could not see a future without her in my life. We had the dress (custom Vera Wang, a gift from her wealthy mother), the venue (park where we took engagement photos), the food (friends with food trucks)….We spent nights talking about our wedding music. I secretly made playlists. So many songs so painful to hear now.
Then I learned her infidelity never stopped, as worse than I thought, and that she loved him, this man she had been cheating with since the beginning. She told me to my face, as her fiancé, that she loved another, yet wanted to marry me….
I was done. Every part of myself I gave her, every bit of respect I swallowed deceiving myself by believing her promises to change, it had left me raw and broken. I distanced myself from her and her children. I gave her back the ring I wore (I found it only fair for both of us to wear engagement rings. Fuck the patriarchy). Everything that could be canceled was. Everything that could be returned was. I don’t know what happened to the dress in the end. I asked her to move out and told her I wouldn’t stay in our home when the lease was up.
Her response was getting wasted and cheating on me more, ‘to feel wanted’ in her words. I wanted her as much as breath, but only one of those was keeping me alive while the other was killing me. Her best friend stayed with us for a couple weeks, trying to get us back together now and again. ‘Two people who love each other so much shouldn’t be apart.’ In pain I replied, ‘You don’t break the heart of one you love, hide it, then blame the one you love for your choices.’ In hindsight, it wasn’t fair to say she didn’t love me. She just couldn’t be faithful.
Months passed and she had a stint of short relationships before getting together with someone she had been flirting with throughout the years of our relationship. She seemed happy. They both got into AA. They seemed a good match. Despite being broken by her, I still loved her, still love her today, and was happy to see her smiling again.
We found things belonging to each other and exchanged them. She sold me back the Magic decks I had built for her. We talked about the kids (all from past relationships). We saw each other Christmas Eve and exchanged presents and hugs. I cried feeling her in my arms once more.
I drove down to Oregon with my daughter to spend Christmas with my mother. On the 27th I received a phone call from my ex’s son. He told me her boyfriend found her unresponsive in her bathtub. She was in hospital but had no signs of significant brain activity. My daughter and I came home, then said our goodbyes to her in hospital. Her mother ended life support a couple weeks later after dozens of brain scans provided no hope.
It was years ago now yet I still love her. I tried to be in another relationship but it failed. I hadn’t grieved and I’m still not done grieving. Someday I’ll be ok though and my life will move on. Until then the radio and old moving boxes are minefields finding joy and heartache in equal measure.”
15. I logged onto her Facebook, against my better judgment, to find secret conversations in messenger about what they wanted to do/had done to each other.
“We were about four months from the wedding. Her coworker pulled me aside and said that she was really ‘friendly’ with another coworker, to the point that I needed to know. I logged onto her Facebook, against my better judgment, to find secret conversations in messenger about what they wanted to do/had done to each other. My heart felt like it imploded in my chest. I’ve never felt so many emotions at once. I confronted her and she lied about the whole ordeal. Finally, I told her how I found out and she reluctantly decided to stop lying about it happening. Then she started lying about how often and when. I deduced if she couldn’t even come clean after being confronted, that it wasn’t worth any effort on my own.”
16. I logged in and found her various escapades going back at least three of the six years.
“We were together for six years, engaged for two I believe. Was waiting for her to finish college. She began to distance herself, and finally, her best friend called me over. This was when Facebook was only available to those with a school ID. She showed me some type of not normal conversations were going on. Back then you could only see the whole conversation if you were friends with both. So knowing she used the same password for everything, I logged in and found various escapades going back at least three of the six years. Angry is a pretty good analysis of how I was feeling. Despite all the evidence, she still denies it to this day. Still, best thing to happen to me. Her best friend became mine, I later married a great woman, have kids of my own, and am extremely happy.”
17. We were happy, bought a house together but eventually just grew apart.
“Together for 8 years, engaged for most of that. We were high-school sweethearts. We were happy, bought a house together but eventually just grew apart. It was an amicable break up and we’re still friends. It just became apparent that we wanted very different things in life.”