Easy Love Isn’t Real Love

couple in love
Colin Maynard

Love isn’t symmetry. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t supposed to be easy. Love in fact, is one of the hardest things to have and to keep.

Easy love isn’t real. Because love that is easy is simple. There aren’t any questions or concerns or red flags that go beyond the surface. Easy love isn’t authentic. Easy love is two bodies craving attention. Craving someone. They aren’t craving anything past that.

Easy love doesn’t go beyond the exterior. It never goes past that. It just sits quietly until there is nothing left to give or to take. Because it’s superficial. It isn’t love at all. It’s lust. It’s company. It’s a person to smile at. It’s having someone to talk to about your day. but it never goes beyond that. It just lays stagnant.

The love that is real is the love that is messy and hard and difficult. It’s a love that is worth fighting for.

Love that is real is love that is passionate. It’s getting past the surface, getting past the perfect. It’s getting to learn the ugly parts about one another. It’s learning how to get past the imperfect. It’s learning how to go beyond what you see. It’s learning how to adore all the ugly and the darkness and the flaws.

Love that’s real isn’t a walk in the park. It’s discussions that turn to fights. It’s communication that takes real work. It’s not all kisses and fireworks. Because once you get beyond the spark, that’s when the real work begins.

Finding real love is a job within itself. Because it takes constant work and communication and patience. It’s about learning how to love your differences with one another. It’s about acceptance. It’s about going beyond the things that you love about one another. It’s going beyond all of the fluff and the picture perfect idea you have in your heads.

Real love will never be easy. It’s a battlefield. It takes work every single day. At times it will seem unbearable. At times you will want to give up. At times you will want to give up on your partner.

But real love doesn’t ever stop trying. Real love doesn’t give up. Because real love isn’t about perfection. It’s about loving one another despite all the ugly and the scars and the flaws. Real love isn’t about the lust. Real love is not a fairytale. It is not a cinderella story.

Real love is about real life. And real life will never be constantly beautiful. Real life will never be breezy. Real life will never be perfect. And just like life, real love is a work progress. So don’t expect love to be easy. Don’t expect love to be perfect. After all, no one is. Nothing is. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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