Kim Quindlen

Although you make jokes with your friends about how your life is a mess and how you don’t know what you’re doing, your laughter is hollow. Because at the end of the day, it’s not really that funny to you anymore. You don’t know where the last five years went and you cannot comprehend the fact that you’re now halfway through your twenties and you have nothing to show for it.

Whenever you’re out with friends and someone needs something – ibuprofen, gum, deodorant, chapstick, tissues, whatever – you’re always the one that has it. But only because your bag is a black hole where convenience store items go to die.

Mary Tyler Moore: “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.”

Choose them because you need something now, fast, and they’re your best bet. Choose them because, at least for the time being, it seems to work.

Every time you write someone a nice card, be it for their birthday or wedding or whatever, you have to include the phrase “I’m not being sarcastic when I say this” at least once.

Rejection sucks. Always. But it especially sucks when you’re standing right next to the person you were rejected for.

Their body is a lottery – anything could happen at any moment, and they really have no way of predicting it.

The world makes you feel weird for not having it. You go to parties and weddings and family reunions alone, and people want to know why you have yet to settle down, as if there’s some secret they expect you to share with them that explains your horrifying singleness.

You’re not really an afternoon person either. In fact, until you’ve reached early evening, you’re basically just not a person.

Teasing you and goofing around with you will always be their favorite way to flirt.

A solid foundation, so that when things inevitably get rocky at different points in your relationship, you two have something to fall back on.

Being honest about the number of pizza slices we’ll actually eat when there’s a group order.

You don’t mind creepy pick-up lines on online dating apps. They just help you to weed out the duds that much faster.

It feels like heartbreak is your fate and you might as well get used to it, because nothing is apparently changing.

They’re a sounding board for every weird thought, embarrassing fear, ambitious goal, freaky dream, and just about every other notion you’ve ever had.

On the rare occasion that you have off on a Saturday, you text everyone you know in all caps. “I DON’T HAVE TO WORK SATURDAY. LET’S DO SOMETHING. LET’S DO EVERYTHING. LET’S DO ALL THE THINGS.”

Because J.K. Rowling knows you better than you know yourself.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs You’re a hopeless romantic.