There are certain moments in life that define you. During those moments, every action and reaction defines how you’re going to progress from the point you’re currently at.
When things get tough, you seem to have two choices- let your moments define you OR get out there and define your moments. For the longest time, I always chose the first route.
I always chose to let everything define me- the events of life, the moments of life, the tough parts of life. I played victim, simply because that’s how I’d always done things. I’d always let the big parts of life be “my story” … when in fact, I had the opportunity to make my story WHATEVER I wanted. Nothing defines me, unless I allow it to.
We all have our own story to tell about our own lives. Hearing someone tell their story is quite incredible, very rarely will you hear someone tell their story – a story drenched in truth, seen through their eyes and told through their words. However sometimes, hearing someone tell his or her story can be incredibly heartbreaking. Especially if that person has written their story off as a sad story, full of negativity and no hope in sight.
A simple conversation with a girlfriend recently changed my view on how my story could be told. I was down on my luck at the time, I felt like a certain situation had taken control of my life and I began to feel like my story was “sad” and that’s when she hit me with her knowledge. “There’s nothing sad about it” was a quote was one she had come across years ago.
She then explained why she sent it to me: “To me, it’s a thing where I went from self-pity and hating myself to still struggling, sometimes even daily, but fighting against any thought of any part of my story being “sad.” Are there sad parts, yes? Does that make my life sad, no?”
Things happening in life make me want to fall back into those old patterns of thinking that my story, as a whole, is sad. But it’s not. I have to actively choose to define my moments, to be UNSTOPPABLE, to be a force of nature, to not let the though parts of life define my actions. Sometimes you simply have to take a step back and evaluate the things that are putting you in that mindset.
Do you take the victim route because you are hurting? Do you take it because you don’t know any other way? Do you take that route because it’s easier for you to play victim instead of dealing with things? That was my thought process for a long time. I’d play victim, I’d allow myself to revel in the hurt, I’d allow myself to throw pity parties. I’m not saying that I’m perfect and that I don’t WANT to think that way, but the one thing I know is- that type of behavior will not get me anywhere in life.
People seem to want to take the easy way out when it comes to their emotions, but expect other people to do the hard work and face their emotions, fears and frustrations in a mature manner.
Don’t be like that. Don’t be a victim. Don’t be a vindictive person. Don’t be contradictory with your standards for human emotions. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Stand strong in your beliefs. Stand strong in your actions. Define your life, don’t let it define you.
And always remember, parts of your story may be sad and life might be in a tough spot – but in the grand scheme of things… there is NOTHING sad about it. Your story is unique, your story is you and ultimately, your story is what you make it.